My Laughters, My Cries

The one when I'm lucky!

2010-03-27T03:37:00.001+08:00

To my one and only Aini.

I may not always be there when you need me;
I may not always catch u when you fall.
But i'll try my best, just wait and see;
To be by your side everytime you call.

My feelings for you are pristine & pure;
Love you so much, you're the only one i adore.
I know you love me too, that i am sure;
So let's be together forever, as you are my soul and I am your core.

Regards,
Your bestest bf(i wish),
Syamiel Nasit.

This is why I'm madly in love with MS. Goodnight all!

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

The one when, again, I'm back.

2010-03-26T09:48:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to blog, telling everyone how awesome my life is with M right now. I feel so blessed to have given the chance to make things work again. & I hope this time, it'll last forever.

So here I am again, starting everything new. (: Until the next entry!

P/s: this is also a test to see if my mail-to-blogger is working. Hehs.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

the one with tweet-post

2009-09-16T03:01:00.003+08:00

because i have my very own blackberry now (yeay!), i seldom use the laptop. unless, of course, to watch gossip girl, true blood, desperate housewives and so on & so forth. what i do now is; i tweet. so follow me on twitter.

http://twitter.com/aineesuga

((: goodnight.

the one when i'm back

2009-05-11T23:24:00.000+08:00

i've returned. look out. hah.

the one with old photographs

2009-02-20T12:14:00.002+08:00

i cut my hair! to buang suay. lols. no, really, its because i'm plain bored. i don't know what to do with the hair anymore. so, i cut it short. & my face looks rounder. pfft.

i met piee, nia, lia & aepul yesterday. as usual, we slacked & bitch about people. yes, boys gossips too. & yes, we still do talk behind people's back. not that i'm proud of it but sometimes you just need to let out, you know? & them rizal came. he bought me the heart-shaped ferrero rocher & crabtree & evelyn's moisturizing body lotion. he said it's a Vday's gift. i thought it was sweet. a nice gesture.

oh, & piee brought down old photo albums. which got me reminscing about my two late aunties. i love them oh-so-much. i miss them terribly. all i can do now is to recite the Al-Fateha for them & pray for them. *tears* looking at the photos, i've forgotten how close we were as a family. we used to go everywhere together. celebrate birthdays, go for holidays & the frequent visit to emba's house. gosh. that too, i miss. i wished emba never sold the house. it has too many precious memories. well, i guess that's why.

:( i wish i could turn back time & make things right.

the one with Fifi's 20th

2009-01-10T13:17:00.011+08:00

guess whose birthday we celebrated?

where at you asked?

i hope u had fun darling! i know we did!

& just to feed your curiousity.. we did celebrate her birthday.
pfft!

the one with Xmas

2008-12-25T06:29:00.003+08:00

its 0630hrs now. i just came back from the airport. sent kakyan off. she's going to Japan until after new year. & its winter now. its going to be awesome, for her.

anyways, Merry Christmas! & im all alone.

ahh. my life sucks.

the one Saturday

2008-12-21T13:18:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday to my idiotic cousin, Shafie! may you lead a happy & properous life ahead of you. i wish you all the best. ((:

i don't wish to recall whatever happened earlier. but at night we all went to Marina Barrage & then fetch Nia & head to Simpang Bedok. i'll post more pictures of Marina Barage later. i'll just have to hunt down the person responsible for it. (read: Dillah) the scenery is gorgeous! you just have to be with great company & it'll be awesome.

now i have to get ready for jemputans. bye!

the one with Aidiladha

2008-12-09T00:55:00.003+08:00

May Allah s.w.t. shower His Mercy, Compassion on all of us now & ever. wishing you all Health, Happiness & Prosperity! Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha! ((:

im not in the mood to blog. seriously, i've been the nicest i can. i'm sick & tired of your negativity. idiot!

good night!

the one when you wait

2008-11-28T15:04:00.003+08:00

i wanted to blog but i end up reading my past entries. & now im sleepy. pfft.

there's loads to share. about my 6 days stay in the hospital & why, missing lia's engagement. damn. the all day driving. not that many but i have things to tell. haahs.

okay, this is me typing; half asleep.

the one when it sucks

2008-11-18T12:50:00.003+08:00

everything's falling apart. nothing's the same anymore. & it has been only what, 2 months? ishk.

i should learn to not be kaypoh. i should just believe whatever im told. its ~~okay~~better if its a lie. as long as i don't know the truth. because truth hurts.

argh! & all these emotional feelings adds up to 10 times more because i'm at that time of the month. PMS is stupid.

i want to talk a walk with Rauf Aqil. he'll get me through this.

the one with family

2008-11-13T01:14:00.009+08:00

i cant sleep. life hasn't been near perfect. as a matter of fact, it sucks. my life sucks.

its either my family changed or im the one who have been screwing things. i don't know anymore. right now i don't feel like im one of them. i stayed in the room the whole day today. lucky for me, i have my laptop. the lcd in the room is kinda useless. i don't even know why me & sis agreed to buy one. & we spend an awful lot of $ on it.

fine, i won't stray from the subject. i want to talk about my family. i thought when i've turned 21, things would be different. i would get my freedom. but no, i don't. im being treated like a 12 years old. although i love it when i was at that age. but i like to have options in life where i make the choice. i want to take risks, i want to be adventurous, i want to play it the hard way. but one thing's for sure, im never brave enough to face the music.

okay, let's cut to the chase, i don't know what i want in life. i never knew. maybe i enjoy this privillege i have from my parents too much. i've never lived the hard way. Alhamdulillah. & i'm so used to it that i never want to leave it. but all good things come to an end. maybe the end starts now. im so terrified of whatever that is going happen next. yet i mentioned i want to take risks & such. so contradicting. *scoffs*

like i've said, i don't really know what i want. i wish i was still 16. that's when i get into loads of trouble but im still being treated like a princess after apologising. when daddy still pays for everything. when i get what i want with no question asked. that's the beauty of being the youngest. nyeahh. things don't always go the way u want them to be. what do i expect? hehs.

this is the latest picture i have of my family. it was taken during my parents' 30th anniversary. let me introduce them to u people.
standing from left; Abang Salleh (brother-in-law), Kak Nana (second sister & the only one married), Kak Yayan (third sister. she's the best one. the one who shares the room & almost everything else with me) & then of course, yours truly, Ain (the one they can't get enough & also the one they had enough), Kak Da (first sister, the one who is so similar to me but no, we can't get along) & Apong (the only brother & the one who protects me)
the ones sitting down would be quite obvious but whatever. from left; Baba, Embah (my maternal grandmother) & Oma. of course the one little one is Rauf Aqil (my little sunshine, my fatso & the only nephew/grandson in the family) oh wait! there's no picture of Buttcheek. he's family too okay.

i love each & everyone of them & seriously, i would never, NEVER, wish for another.

ah, wtf. i'll always be a 12 year old in their eyes, like it or not.
*screaaaaams*

the one where i'm back

2008-11-10T04:36:00.004+08:00

i've decided to blog again. guess why? hehs. i honestly believe it's because im happy & i would love to share my everyday with you people.

or maybe, im just plain bored at this moment. we'll see. haahs!

e one w ramadhan

2007-09-13T07:55:00.000+08:00

HAPPY PUASA-PUASA MUSLIMIN & MUSLIMAT
=))

W LOTS OF ♥,
aineesuga

e one w first anni

2007-09-11T14:56:00.000+08:00

*gigantic smiles*

110906
i dno how but tis date bcame our anni. herks. im lovingg each & evry moment. ystd was especially swt. & e day before ystd. herks. e MERCI choco (althou i prefer rocher). ouhs, ahbee! dgr2 MERCI means sorry? LOLS. u sacrifice ur late nites & came to cck just to make me smile & say ~~MERCI~~sorry. haiyahh.. i love tt feelg.

hunns bought US couple rings. wheee..! at last! mine writes "Memet" & his "Ain". inside e ring, "110906". sweeeeet banget dehh. love loove it. & den we watch No Reservations. its a romantic cookg show. watch it!

k da, pics time!

& den we went to plcs we went a yr ago. bt batok's Alif, CC.. herks. it brings back special memories. best kn!!! wat made it betta was, i did not fork out any $ at all. did i? ouh, NEOPRINTS!! at last laa sey. hunns nv wanted to take neoprints. its my favourite thg to do. herks. herks.

***ABYKUCYGGG! thx for e special day. evry moments spent w u r e greatest. u hv nv failed to make me smile (& cry) i look fwd to evry otha day w u in my life. u r definitely different from any otha guys ive dated. xceptionally e best! i love u sygg. very veryy muchh. muacks!

e one w ros' weddg

2007-09-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

e beautifuuul nur lydia ashanti.

e "princess" for e day

i caught e flowers! yeys! my turns nx! AHBEE!

6 yrs & countg

hahaks. i have loads more pics like tis. aku & ja tkde keja.

ainee, fifi darla, ja berok!

US w e bride & groom

FURAMA gals w Ricola on their teeth. cool-ness!

FURAMA geng. hunns was supposed to b bhind me. dammit!

ahhh. at last. one of my bestie got married. I WISH U ALL E HAPPINESS MY DEAR. IM HERE FOR U. I LOOOVE U!

& i surely hate e fact tt lydia has forgotten abt me. sad but wat to do? it has been 7 mths u noe. she's all talkative now. unlike a 2 yr old, reli. adorable nk mampos.

& i met hunns just now. wanted to talk abt US. heh. lets just wait & c wat happ nx. it was very disappointg but i stick to wat i believe. ders chgs wen ders chances. ka-ching!

& yeys! im happy cos u got e skinny black jeans. like, at last. *winks*

e one w nthg

2007-09-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

hell yeaahh ive watched it! stil, e first one rock betta. ohh zac efron! his bods, his moves, his EYES! ohh droooool!

ouh, few days ago, hunns cabot my first uban. yes, white hair. OMG!

mon's picnic, tues' gym, wed's shoppg. all 3 plans cancelled. yes! sunggoh membingetkn! & im sick. went to baba company's clinic w hunns. & i was charged 45bux for it. & i tot can claim. shit seyy. i was given 5 medicines altgthr. for phlegm, airway, cough, antibiotics & of course lozenges. i hv minor bronchitis. (-_-)

& i had to stay at home w e whole day. e cough syrup was supposed to make me feel drowsy. but hell no i cant slp. soooo irritatg! & all i cud thk abt was e shoppg spree hunns had promised me. aiyahhh!

& oh kakyan. u r soo irritatg! yes! get a life.

tis entry is so random. bleargh!

e one w downs

2007-09-04T13:18:00.000+08:00

u noe wen pple say ders ups & downs in life? yea. im literally facing tt rite now. im having my downs. chett!

im just so sorry laa hunns. i so prangai. i mocked at u. mimic at wateva u said. (yes, i can b tt rude) yet u kept ur cool & talk to me in e nicest way u can. den, all i said was, "i tk tau. i tk tau. i tau i ada mood nk balek." if i were u, i wud hv just walked away. but der u were, sayg no, tryg to make thgs betta & i just push u away. further & further away.

cause of fight? heh. stupid, veryyy stupid. bcos he raised his voice at me. but all i needed was a hug. his hug. it can make me forget abt all e thgs im initially angry at. it takes all my worries away. hais.. im not askg for much m i? m i?

EEEUUURRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! tk suka la. tk suka!!

nk happy2. tknk ada probs. tknk gado2. bole? sape uh ada rltnshp yg mcm gni? like, evrythgs soooo perfect. evrythg is accordg to e way dey want.

abykucyg..sorry?

e one w reasons

2007-09-02T04:33:00.000+08:00

stuupid blogger. wont let me update pics. blardy hell.

since ive quitted sch, ive been growing fatter. nyeah not reli la. ive always been fat. all i do is eat, watch tv. unkess hunss or whoeva ask me out, den i will. else, i will slog at home w oma & acheek. watch sensasi 24/7. so irritatg la seyy. who m i kiddg? LOLS. im having funn! no stress, no assgnments, no worries, no early morngs. yippledeydeedooo!!

but i hv got to start planng on wat to do w my life. seriously, i want e MMI thgy butttt. its too expensive. i dun wanna use baba's $. yes, nk step independent watsoeva u call it uh. nyeah. i hv my reasons. i always do.

thgs w hunns hvnt been e best for e past.... one month? yes! even he agreed. ive chgd. i noe. but we had a fruitful cnvrsatn just now, i hope. i told him my reasons. he said he ustd but im sure ders thgs ive said tt might hv hurt. well im sorry. he has to noe y he deserves gettg tis treatment from me, rite?

apart from all e fites, i stil love him. thou at times he can b irritatg. yea.. he's stil e one i turn to at e end of e day. cos he nv fail to make me smile. e thgs he say. he little thgs he do. a stupid act can cheer me up. eventhou its him im fightg w. i dun care. he'll hv his way of cheerg me up. tts my muhd syamiel.

& reminiscing w u r e best-est babyy! u made it alive. (awww.. so swt (-_-)) im reli supposed to b slpg now. i hv to wake up early in e morng & i hv to cook. fried macaroni. we'll go picnic-ing at ECP! such fun-ness.

i cant wait!

e one w kakna's weddg

2007-09-01T02:23:00.000+08:00

21072007
haa.. we were so unorganized. yes, as always. but evrythg looked soo preeetty. our baju kebayas. e decos. e cupcakes. i love loove it. i love tt day. its so memorable. oh yes, my baju was abt to burst wen we went over to abg salleh's side. i ate too much. seriously, too much. i dun like our food. but i do like e prawns. hee. its so near perfect la. smthgs we forgot to do. & til tdy, oma stil blame herself. its okay i thk cos its our first time. evryone knew. we'll back it betta wen its kakda's turn. *winks*

& we end it w a last group photo. e whole family. oma's side. baba's side. & evryone held e cupcake. e moments stil fresh on my mind. how nice! i loooove my family la.

I WISH U HAPPINESS KAKNA & ABG SALLEH. ALTHOU WE WERENT AS CLOSE AS SISTERS. I STIL LOVE U. UVE BEEN E GREATEST U CAN W ME. BIG HUGSS!

e one w kakna's solemnization

2007-09-01T01:47:00.000+08:00

20 July 2007
kakna's solemnization. it was a beauuutiful date. 20072007. yes? both kakna & abg salleh turns 27 tis yr. it happ at kakna's new hse at yew tee. i tell u. damn kecoh laa ok. w all e pple. e makciks & e anak2 kecil. oh so semakk!! & gues whr kakyan & i went ltr tt nite? MacD laa sey. cannot tahan. no time to eat. sunggoh sibuk mlm itu. heh. & e pelamin was built by us! yes, baba nailed them tgthr. me, kakda & mak su helped w e deco. nice rite! c baba's & oma's face. sooo happy. i am too. ouh yes, my family wore pink. i loike. k, njoy e pics.

oh so u noticed ders no pic of apong, my bro? yes. no family photo too? yes! like blardy idiot. i hate e mak andam & photographer. bodo taikk.

e one w so many thgs! stufs

2007-09-01T01:15:00.000+08:00

ouhhhh yes! i finally have e mood to blog. its almost 2 mths now! hahas.

firstly. MERDEKA!! ive been sayg tt e whole day! to oma, to my sisters, to frens. wooohoooo!! happy 50th (sings)malaysia truly asia. & to my country too. Singapore's 42nd National Day! i rmrbred having fun on tt day. i watchd e fireworks w hunns. yipple-ness.

wat else eh. ouh! kakna's weddg! & yes, kakna's alrd preg & only now m i updatg my blog. yey! cant wait to b an aunt. (imagine: mak su! mak su!) *bigg smiles*

lia's bday, hunns bday had past. ders nthg much to talk abt. i bought dem nthg. no $ la. soon mayb. wat else happ?

yes! ive quitted sch. haaaaaahhh?!!!! yes. i have officially. k, those who wanna ask, pls do so. i wont ans. but i do hv my reasons. not good but acceptable enuf? nyeah. so wat m i gg to do w my life, u asked? haaa.. tt depends on hunns. he'll support me. u promised!

done i supposed? hee..

e one w sch

2007-07-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

sch has started! bleargh. bika permed her hair too. shockingly cos ive memorized her face w straight hair. & i love my frens la. their laughters made my day. feel soo blissed. hafiz got her 1yr anni gift. psp. & he had diner dash game. cool shit. i loooooove tt game. & i played non-stop. nmpk sgt hafiz binget. hee. lunch at kfc. saw aj & gf. to e younger gals & yanto. thankiuuu. u guys make me look fwd to go to sch evry single day. knowg tt u all wil luff w me. & knowg tt i can bully yanto. ahhh.. wonderfuuul.

OA was full of crap as per normal. nthg got inside my head. POM - okayyy la. i scored 39/50 for e CA test. yeys! but e proj.. nyeahs. shitty sey. stil to b done; TPS & OA proj. i rarely blog abt sch. wonder y i do tdy. (-_-)

sun w family was wonderfuuuul. i mopped & scrubbed e whole living room. i can stil feel e tiredness. brr..! & den dinner at lot 1's Siam Kitchen. food sux xcept for oma's tom yum. yes, sux. kira mcm nk celebrate bday kakda & mine ah gtu. w/o kakna & apong & emba. stil, i njoys family dinner veryy much.

yes i noe e above pic looks disgustg. i wasnt der wen e food came so i took pics aft we hv finished eatg. hahas.

e one w beautifully-sial

2007-07-08T08:48:00.000+08:00

sat was both beauuutiful & sial. yes, sial.

lets talk beautiful.

congrats to elly's sis! semoga dicucuri rahmat hingga ke anak cucu! wish u happines w ur patner til eternity! *smiles*

& i saw couple of familiar faces. hee. syakirah, syahidah, mariam, kak syg & him of cos. & thx eh bros. u guys stil hit it off very well la. fancy talkg to him. & wan stil refuses to talk to me. i simply dun ustd y. so ure angry. abe til now uh kira? bleargh. whuuuuteva. smhow, i miss elly's & farida's talkgs & laughters. hmphh. lets hang out soon.

aft e weddg, take photos. ade 2 je la. formal &amp; candid. & 1 w me & cik melati. hee. ouh. ouh. i wore green. feelg global warmg gtu. hurr. hurr. & kakak elly was so sportg wen we ask to do candid!

left arnd 11.15? by e time rch home, da midnite. stil i went out agn to meet sop, obek & piee! mcm da lama gilerrrrrrrrrr gtu tk hang out w these pple. as in, all of us, tgthr. yes, naz, fadly wasnt der. stil, i njoy e catchg up.

talk abt sec sch days. how once all of us was in e same clas. (ye, xcept u obek) bitchg abt e gals. tellg each otha who we hate. lols. i feel like e darling of e grp agn. i want more meet ups plssss! so nice. ciggies & coke. heaven!

just so u noe, piee is e kind to talk abt his NS life non-stop. ive heard him repeat his stories thousands over time. & e ghost stories dey share. eeewww..! eerie. lucky piee slpt at my hse tt nite. else, i wont even go home til its dawn.

ouh yes, i find these funny.
piee: skg rmi bdk emo2 eh?
me: ntah.
obek & sop: ahhh..
pie: tt time ade bdk EMO nk beli rokok kat 7-11 den cashier tnya umor brape. dia jawab 17. mak kau! bodo kn? abe tk tau? g nangis uh! kata EMO.
sial uh kau piee. u got all of us laughing. much later, we all head home.

here comes e sial part.

shd i say? nahh.. wdnt b fair to him. hunns, i forgave u. but i stil cant believe u did tt. of all thgs. i was so confident tt u wud not ket me dwn. i HAD faith in u. i DID trust u. yet u do all those. haish. otak ku buntu. i dno wat else to say. i cant slp, i kept cryg. u clearly showed me tt im not impt in ur life. cos if i m, u wdnt hv done tt.

i love u la ahbee but ders a limit to evrythg. how cud u.. :'(

e one w celebration part 2

2007-07-05T07:38:00.001+08:00

time check - 6.35am. brr..! i cant slp. acheek uh. sooo noisy. && he got a scratch on his head. got blood. dno how he got it. =(

went out w hunns ystd. he din go to sch. brr! reason being he wants to spend time w me. swt but.. kk, no complains. met him at lot 1 & den to b.batok. had to help oma take e card jemputans. it was blardy hot la ystd. oops! sorry, Alhamdulillah.

we were both hungry & i craved for tong seng's fried fish soup. yummy! aft perot da bunchits, we went to vivo. we wanted to catch a movie & as evryone noes, Bugis Junction's theater sux! but mcm stupid. cud hv eaten at vivo's banquet. eh hunns? hurr. hurr. so, on e bus to vivo, we took pics. tadaaa..!

since der wasnt any nice movies to watch, we proceed w e nx plan. ben & jerry's ice cream!! woooohooo..! ive been wantg since day 1 we dated. which was 10 mths ago? i picked new york choco & strawberry cheesecake. hunns chosed phish food. noice. i loike. but its too swt tt my throat got sore. hunns preferred swensens' ice cream to ben & jerry's. well, whutevaa..! i hv my own liking. agn, der's pics. wats new?

we lepak for awhile & cam-whored agn. e 2nd pic below, i posted it not bcos of e pretty faces but bcos of e background. i kept repeatg to hunns; "bee, tgk gmbr nie, kita mcm kat rain forest eh." kn? kn? like, tall trees & greenery. && look at my left cheek. breakkk out dok. pimples. yak-dushkk! sunggoh tk favourite. & soon we head off to smwhr quiet. library? nyeahs.

ahbee! thankiuuu for e wonderfuuuuuul day. i had fun althou im not easy to please. but bein near u was good enuf. reaaaaaaaaaaaally! *big smiles* i look fwd to aug's & sept's celebrations! wheee...! loove loove u!

e one w celebration part 1

2007-07-04T07:37:00.000+08:00

yet agn, my gfs nv fail to make my day. my bday was almost perfect cos last min hunns cdnt tag along. he had to follow his family to his uncle's hse. i had to ustd. sad laa sey. cos i reli reli reli looked fwd to spendg my bday w pple i love. & yana babe! cos she had to work. sooo guuunduik these pple.

so, tues, i met lia babe, ja babe & their bfs. (welcome to e clan farid! as for aepul, u r no newbie) sat down at spinelli. at first sooo confident want go dine at the balcony. but den evryone's stomach full alrd. discuss. discuss. discuss, go K Box. whee..! shiok-ness. aepul, kau kekek la. imagine, we all share 1 mic & he had e otha one all by himself! farid din even sing. mayb a little. malu la konon! but thx to aepul la, he got e ball rollg. not manyy choices for malay song. but okayyy la. we tries to sing crazy in love, beyonce's song. hahas! hancur! we ended up dancing to it.

soon, aepul was fast aslp, ja drunk. left, me & lia basically cos farid nv sing. but ja & farid left early cos dey had to fetch some person at e airport. & den soon lia fell aslp. i took e opportunity to sing my heart out. hahas! funny i tell u, cos all e malay songs i sental alrd, i picked english songs. yet e couple slpt peacefully. kekek-ness.

i woke dem up at 4 cos by den i myself cant tahan. gues how much was e total! $301! & w no qns, lia just sign e bill. aku shockk laa sey cos i hv dun hv tt amount of $$. hahas.

e swtest part, we sat down reminiscing our 8 yrs of frenshp. & how my bday was always soo perfect. oh yes, thx to ja babe & farid for e bday cake. u guys bought tears to my eyes. i was so happy but i noe it wasnt complete. ros wasnt der. :'( i njoyed myself veryy much dearies. i heartt u all veryy veryy much. seriously, no one ustds me like dey do. thankiuuuuu for evrythg. *big hugs & kisses*

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY AINEE!! <33

e one w twenty

2007-07-03T14:33:00.000+08:00

im supposed to go; "woooohooo! its my bday tdy!!" i wud if im 15. bleargh. im 20! & as today, i wil age veryyy fast. pfft. but its beautiful knowg tt i hv hunns & gfs to celebrate my bday w. =) family? wkends mayb? ouh yes hunns bought me a kappa portugal jacket. i love it. thx hunns. met him bwh blk ystd. i brought acheek along. i hv pics.

sunday, i went to johor w kakyan. hee. to perm my hair. i din like it. mayb not yet. brr..! kakyan was supossed to rebond her hair but she din cos e hairdresser told her tt her hair was sexy & it was a waste straightened it. nyeah. so she did treatment. & i had to sit at e salon for hrs - alone & slpy while she walked arnd ct square shoppg. cruel. at e fish baked rice at vivo is shiok! e cheese is extravagant. & i actually ask e lady der to top up cheese on top of our unfinished rice & paid 2 ringgit for it.

& i love my Sat. how wonderfuuuul. me, hunns & a'an cuzzie watched (sings) transformers! robots in disguise. u guys HAVE to c e movie la. its.. indescribable! rocks my socks! cos u c i was nv a fan of transformers. & i actually loved e movie. kecoh-rable laa sey. ouh how i wish i had my own bumble bee. cool shit uh! so aft lot 1, went to town. & gues who i bumped into! acha septriasa & irwansyah! like, til now i stil cant get over it. he's sooooo charmg. & acha is gorgeous. like barbie doll gtu. sorry hunns u din get to take w dem. hurr hurr.

hv to get ready now. & stil we hvnt plan to go whr. yeyooohhh-ness!! i'll b celebratg my bday w e pple i love! hv fun pple. i sure will. hugs. hugs.

e one w UPDATES

2007-06-30T03:16:00.000+08:00

yea, it has been a mth. been bz w alotttt of thgs. oh, its e hols now. 2nd wk finishg & i stil hv a wk left. no im not workg. ive been helpg kakna w her hse. washg, paintg & all tt sort of thgs u noe. & now i hv neck cramps. sch frens is dearly missed by me. wateva happ on e meet-up at Sentosa & Escape. i sure miss their laughter. gurlfrens had been bz workg. hmph.

June was xceptionally wonderfuuul. maybe too wonderful tt i do not need to blog. fathers' day celebratn was simple. had dinner at Sakura at BPP. e food sux i tel u. hated it. coincidentally, hunns' family celebrated der too. no, we did not bumped into each otha. tt wud b a complete disaster. i hv pics.

meet up w yana babe was as always beneficial & superb. meet up to catch up & complain - as usual. hvnt heard from her in a veryyy longg time. just hope evrythg goes well on her side. i hv yet to meet up e rest of my gfs. both ja & lia cut their hair. to like my length! haha.

oh yes, oma & kakyan went to a 5days trip to Jakarta & left me alone. i had to tkcr of acheek & it was veryy irritatg. i had not enuf slp. i had to cook. i had to clean e hse. i emptied my laundry basket. my cupboard is now neat & tidy. ohh im so proud. yes. yes. & thx oma, it reli hit me how hard it had always been for u. im now a more discipline person. i hope to continue bein so.

in 20 days, kakna is gg to b married. im sooo happy for her. yes, she's stressed up as hell as we all r. &&, im stil not losing any weight. fatter infact. well, wat do i do? sit at home, snack, go out, snack. eat, eat, eat. im happy; i eat. *smiles* e berkat we ordered from Bimla arrived just now. 24 box of 50 glasses inside.

ive been meetg hunns as much as we can. but i stil miss him. evry sec im away frm him. i miss him badly. i do, & mean it. haish. fites, quarrels; tts normal rite? evry rltnshp has tt. but too many is not healthy. i dno. im just so bumped by e thgs he said smtimes. or mayb its me. it has always been me. e overly-sensitive gf. e one who seeks attention. if possible, evry sec. im just too demandg. pfft. i hate to admit wen im in e wrong. bein syamiel, he gvs in. yet i dno wat else i want. nthg is enuf for me. wat do i xpect sey? tk tau la.. just so u noe hunns, althou we had e bad times, i stil love u. no doubt abt tt.

so u c ive chgd my url. im just sad la. too sad. ive nv tot these pple wud stil affect my life. so u hate me. i shd b e one hating u guys. i shdnt even b blogging abt tis. but it hurts like stil alot wen i read it. ders no need to type it down & let evryone c. now e pple u once bitched abt becomes love & swt? bullshit sey! & to thk dey hate hypocrites & backstabbers? masyaAllah. dey hate themselves? im not tryg to bitch back abt dem but ive been keepg quiet abt it. y sey? y? Astaghfirullah. im just soo disturbed by all these.

& its kakda's bday ystd. mine wil be in 2 days. yippie! cant wait to celebrate it w e pple i love. family & hunns & my lovely gfs. i look fwd to presents & parties. hurr. hurr.

HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY KAK HUDA!

e one w frens

2007-05-31T00:46:00.000+08:00

for Hajar, Lya, Liyana & also Rose.
*smiles*

e one w nothg

2007-05-30T15:53:00.000+08:00

sch was short tdy. started at 10 & ended at 1. nthg much happ in sch to share xcept for e past few days, smone has been ultimately irritating. i dno y. & i dun want it to bother me. cos i no longer care. =))

now in hunns' sch. he's slpg while im blogging. accompany him study. i too m supposed to b studyg. but lazeee cans? i bought alottt of thg at NP's co-op. almond roca, dried guava, choco mints & some othas. seat, munch, blog. not surprised tt im growg fatter. lols.

thgs hasnt been e best btwn me & hunns also. no, not tt we no longer love each otha nor do we quarrel. suprisingly, parents. i nv tot parents wud b e cause to break us up. sad, but wat to do? but we'll fight for our love. yea hunns?

im supposed to b workg tdy. but i nv go. nvm, tmr can go. last sun also nv go. but it was all worth it. cos i met hunns! & we watched Pirates of e Carribean. shiok-nenehs! i want to watch shrek3 tdy cans? ouh! ouh! frustating part was, TONG SENG tutop! saketttt hati. den we went to vivo cause bugis nya cinema sux! pffft.

i love my muhd syamiel. *hugs & kisses*

HAPPY VESAK DAY pple. njoy ur holidays!

e one w WOK

2007-05-23T16:42:00.000+08:00

for those who dno. WOK means blow-job or dick-sucking in e minahs & mats term now. i guess.. its e hot topic for today. & apparently i was labeled e xpert by bika. wth! it all began w yanto. he has tis recordg. btwn a bapok & a straight guy. its so eeeewww!

& all e thgs we did in sch tdy smhow leads to WOK. evrythg lil' thg also, WOK. its funny la. & i njoyd sch tdy thankiu veryy much. haha. tts all i want to blog.

meetg hunns soon. hv to go get ready. bye!

e one w too manyy

2007-05-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

ahhh.. i got e mood to blog. at last. i attented sch for less than an hr. mcm siak. i woke up late. at least i come kn. den sally called. she said mrs yeo wanted to meet baba on nx Mon. hais.. stress. i hvnt informed dem. how eh? tis wil only add fuel to e fire.

i met hunns tdy. we went to causeway pt. i was at Banquet, some kid shouted. "kak ani..!" hahas. i turned to c maisarah, cik leha & pak b. my lil' cous, aunt & uncle. from my mother's side. lucky! & den we went to civic centre library. hunns had to do his proj. & i read my TPS book. hahas. && i did e survey for POM's proj. i got bored & i took loads of pics. hahas. well, ainee sey. wat do u xpect kn.

& den on sun, last wk, aft sooo manyy days, we met & went to Lot 1. i helped oma cooked tt day. went Lot 1, both ate yong tau foo. den watch movie, Next. i wont say it veryyyy good. but nice enuf. haha. dno ehs. go watch la. den u noe. & den hunns took tis pic. its funny ok.

den on last Sat, i went to GreenRidge's FunFiesta. w zaki & hanif. it was soo nice meetg e teachers, old frens, my juniors. & its nice how i din hv to fork out a single cent cos zaki paid for almost evrythg. stuupid y dey hv to use coupon. duit kn lg senang. we walked arnd e sch. hahas. its fun ekh! & i recalled back wen it was my time. we had a similar thg & it was racial harmony day. lya, hajar, ros, myself & some othas performed dikir. each clas set up stalls. aiyer.. reminiscing. suuuch wonderfuuuul memories.

at abt 4.30 i went off to work. at goodwood. w fifi gf & some otha furama ex workers. it was tiring yet e money is good. lols. & coincidentally. wan, an x-gr also, he worked der but stewarding. such small world. tis wkend workg agn. fri, sat, sun. nvm, occupy my time.

**hunns, i'll b der wen u need me ok. i'll try to b gf u want me to b ok. anythg to make our rltnshp betta, to make u happier & to make me a betta person. i wont menyampok, wont menjawab ok. & as for now, u concerntrate on ur exams ok. we'll go yippledoo aft tt. i'll try to help in any way i can. u too b der for me ok. cos, rite now, i need u e most. u noe wat i mean. & i cant wait for fri nite! lols. *bigg hugg*

e one w feelings

2007-05-16T18:26:00.000+08:00

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im so sad & blardy mad!!!!!!

sorry la tt im jealous.
sorry i asked.
sorry im insecure.

too much ke tuu suma?
i hv feelings laaa ok!
jealous tk kena tmpt?
abe ape..? kena stop e feelings?
da nk rasa jealous nk buat mcm mana kn!

pkir la. pkir!

arghhh apape la sia.
i wont hv tis stuuupid feelings inside me anymo ok.
im sorry la, im a human.
cant stop feeling tis way.

LANTAK KAU LA.

e one w so many days

2007-05-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

last thurs was sweet & full of anger. haha. met yana babe. we talkd, we caught up. we had fun kn babe! we were too bz talkg tt we forgot to take pics. hmph. &&, hunns din join. he had his reasons. disappointd but.. nyeahs. &&, i got to meet yan! yana babe's 3yrs bf. he was superrrr superrr nice. friendlier i must say. cos he din gv me a gd first impression & wasnt e kind to talk muchh. now, he's diff i must say. we will meet up agn. w hunns tis time. ouh yes.. yan said tis, "how i wish i cud meet him" HIM is referring to hunns. sooo pleasant to hear tt!

i din go to sch on last fri. i went to cck's poly & took mc. i walked arnd teck whye pasar der. den i went it e MacD der & saw an old fren. Din. i cdnt recognize him at first. sooo diff laa. & den met hunns aft he finishd sch. we went to Sun Plaza & watchd Spiderman3. i loike. i loike. & i cried too. hahas. we had an njoyable nite. eh ahbee? playg poker bwh blk mana ntah. we wanted to play strip poker kind u noe. so we hv to gv up our own shoes if we lose. ustd? nyeahs. anws, i hv pics!

i just bought e white shoes. i loike.

sat to granny's crib at west coast to celebrate mothers' day. funny how my oma wasnt arnd. oma went to melaka. so i went w baba, kakda & kakyan. funny laa e lil' cousins & kak sufi. we tried to do e frenshp dance. but none of us noe how to. i had a great luff but at e same time some makciks r sooo sickening. dun wanna go into details. arnd 8plus kakyan & myself went off leavg kakda & baba. take cab go town. i den met hunns.

i sat at home e whole day tdy. studyg for POM progress test. no i did not celebrate mothers' day. dno y also.. im now waitg for hunns to call & hv our late nite cnvrsatn.

to yana babe - pls b strong. Allah syg org yg penyabar. i noe its diff for u. hv faith & insyaAllah luck wil b on ur side. i shall pray e best-est for u ok. && promise to b here wen u need me. && puhleaseeee meet up soon. w yan & hunns ok.

to syamiel dearie - i noe i made a mistake. a huge mistake. not anyone can forgive wat ive done. u hv been sooooo patient, sooooo ustdg w me yet i disappoint u like tt. i broke ur heart. i noe wat i did was cruel. i noe im not perfect but pls dun leave me? i noe my mistake. im sorry, i realise wat i did was wrong & assure u tt i wont to it agn. i promise u hunns. i wil earn back e trust. i'll do anythg it takes to make tis rltnshp betta. i love u.

e one w floorball

2007-05-10T15:29:00.000+08:00

ok, so Monday's S&W, we played floorball rite? initially, my grp consist of me, ika, diana & ira. wanee, wanie & munirah in another grp. i wanted to leave early so i told wanee's grp "aiyah.. korg chicken uh." & she rplied, "yelah.. aku tau la aku keja KFC" funny or wat? siak uh ko wanee. nyeahs. wth, we chg. so we compete w bika's grp. we is me, munirah, ira & wanee. while e rest r bz playg, wanee diri sahaje jaga goalpost. senang eh position kau. *scoffs*

hahas. funny la eh ingt2 balek. esp for u la bebeh. aku sukerrrr sgt pijak kasot kau. *smiles bigggg* & my leg is stil soooo painful la frm e jog & e fall.

k enuf. gotta get ready. meetg hunns & yana babe at town. got some catchg up to do yea. i'm gg to hv fuuuun. yeyness!

e one w too many thgs

2007-05-09T02:46:00.000+08:00

i din mention fishing w hunns on Sat. njoyd e wind, e sea, e grey clouds at ECP. saw dan, feeq, farida, elly & mira ltr tt evening. nyeahs e 5As organised a pit & i din attend. so semangat laa ok. bought prawns & all! hahas. i njoyd my Saturdays w u. *smiles bigg*

its 2.50am rite now. i cant slp. alottt of thgs gg thru my mind. sch, frens & beloved hunns. hais.. anws, thx yanto for e late nite chat. i will try to go to sch regularly. i hv to else he'll stuff choco mints in my nose, tie me to a tree full of ants & put his smelly socks into my mouth. (kira mcm fear factor uh gtu! kn yanto!)

i njoyd lot 1-ing w kakyan. ate LJS, but it taste weird due to my sore throat, i gues. && i din order coleslaw. damn! its not complete w/o it. missed half of anugerah. & den watchd an indonesian ghost story - hantu jeruk purut. piee cuzzie & a fren said it was scary. not for me. (kerekk eh. tiba2 timbul kang!) hahas.

i stil cant slp laaaa..! i want to do smthg stuupid. it has been a longgg time u noe. *winks*

ps: any idea how i cant throw up my phlegm w/o taking medicine? its killing me!! NOT.

e one w nothing

2007-05-08T18:02:00.000+08:00

din go to sch tdy. AGN! but ystd sch was fun. for S&W. e run wasnt fun. cos it was hot! & tiring of course. but nyeah. SBSL rawks! all of us finishd runng bfore 12 mins & we all belong to e cheetah grp. yea, cheesy. hahas. & den we playd floorball. soooo nice. my team won! i scored 2 goals. yes laa..! im proud ok. & my leg stil hurts cos i fell wen i scored e 2nd goal. i feel like a sport woman. hahas.

& den i met hunns at. he din go sch & he needed to take MC. dun ask me y but we went to e polyclinic at commonwealth. a'an cuzzie tag along. sooo bedek la. he entered e room. & in less than 5mins, he was out w MC & e med chit. he said he got diarrhoea. bet e doc nk balek cpat, mls nk entertain & played along. lols.

den a'an cuzzie went home. hunns & i went to e lib der. plan nk blaja. oh wth. we surf e net. tgk horoscope, gmbr2 hantu & watchd frens. best! & as always, i snap. snap. snap. soon, we head home. cos hunns promised oma we'll b home bfore 9.

i wanna bath now. nk solat den go lot 1 w kakyan. mayb jog for awhile? i reli wanna lose weight bfore july. so i look beauuutiful on my bday & on kakna's wedding day. i wanna wear baju kebaya!!! & hunns, i can do it ok! da, bye!

e one w evrythg

2007-04-30T02:13:00.000+08:00

friday - cdnt wake up in e morning. so i decided to go to e 11 am clas. left home, msgd jess & askd. she said e clas is cancelld & ders a talk which ends at 12. so i decided not to go at all. hahas. msgd hunns & askd him to accompany me. wantd to go home but ltr oma petpotpetpot. so we went to WestMall & watchd Cadaver. we wantd to waste time as hunns clas starts at 3. its a ghost story & gues wat. no one was in e theatre. NO ONE at all. so we took advantage of e sofa seat which was 32 bux n we paid 16 bux! it was scary ok. we closed our eyes most of e time. 10 mins left to e end of e show, a lady workg der came in a shoo us off e sofa seat. well, wth. i den head home & hunns off to sch.

the only shot i got to take hunns playg e pool, kang malu2 nk amek gmbr. veryy e menyampah. a'an cuzzie bz playg his psp.
i took his pics den he took mine.& den i switch plc to take photo tgthr. =)

saturday was simple yet veryy nice. no hunns din go to work cos he cdnt wake up. & no we din go town nor esplanade. i went to gr mall & ate laksa. yum! yum! &amp;amp; den we waited for a'an cuzzie & kang & den head to pool at Beauty World. we played billard at first cos der wasnt any 8-feet pool table. my 1st time ok. & it was bad aft all. at least i got 3 of e red ball in. eh hunns! lols! we den got our 8-feet & i din play. cos i was havg stomach cramps. menses la deyy. den to MacD cos hunns was hungry. i rchd home bfore 12. believe it. its a saturday. hahas. but it feels nice to b home early. mcm anak yg baikkkk gtu.

went to lot 1 w kakyan tdy. to return dvds & den shop at NTUC. i personally love shoppg at NTUC. hahas. Sunday is family day for me. watched The Dancefloor, ate sotong balls. sooo nice. & den baba nagged abt how untidy my room is. nyeah. cant b bothered. so Vas & Pris won. it was obvious wasnt it? 50 grand seyy! nyeahh..!

& den hunns & i got into a longggg cnvrsatn. i'll summarise ok. im a bad gf. not e kind anybody wants to hv. seriously, i hv all e bad qualities. i dno how hunns can accept me. tolerate my nonsense & stil continue lovingg me. im thankful but thk abt hunns. haish.. im sorry. it must hv been hell for u e past 6 mths. i'll try to b a betta gf ok. *winks*

& its almost 3am now. i hv to wake up in 5 hrs? damn!

e one w happy times

2007-04-27T02:34:00.001+08:00

2.40 am & im stil not aslp. buttcheek meoooowing away in e cage. wil take him out ltr bfore i go to slp.

i borrowed sop's charger. yeys! im alrd using bck my SE hp. thx soppy bro for e charger & yana babe for passg it to me.

i met hunns ystd & tdy. both days w a'an cuzzie arnd. its just sooo nice. slackg & reminiscing happy moments tgthr. its a superb feelg! talkg abt our first date 6 mths ago, our 1st movie, 1st time to ECP.. & manyy manyy more. althou we no longer spend time as much as bfore nor do we do crazee thgs anymo, im im content to b near hunns. our longg ride in bus 61. hahas. kn ahbee!

not gg to spend e wkends w hunns cos he's gg to work. hmph. i'll survive. so xpect me at home tis wkend. but we r gg to go out tmr, aft sch. & we'll do all e crazeeee thgs agn. *lookg forward*

a video to share. i love lookg at it over & over agn. i love e way he winks. *melts* ouh yes. pause e music bfore playg e video. if not it'll b veryyyy irritatg.

e one w gettg hurt

2007-04-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

it feels like millions of tiny nails piercing thru my heart.
so hurt. so painful.

truth // lies
honesty // deception
promises // empty
im // gone

ive been cryg. evrytime bfore i go to slp. ahbee. save me.

tel me, wat is love..?

e one w MY heart

2007-04-24T15:31:00.000+08:00

never xpect evythg to turn out e way u want it to b. never put on high hopes on anythg. anythg at all. just play along. wateva u do, play it smart. & never never rely upon pple to gv u bck e same treatment u gv dem. u will end up w nothing. oh no wait, actually ders plenty of thg u will feel; crushed, desolate, grief-stricken, grieved, heart-sick, heartbroken, heartsore, miserable, mournful, sorrowful. der!

nyeaaahh! whuteva!

anws, thx hunns for e wkend. i love it. e time spend tgthr was filled w joy & laughter. but as i always say, gd thgs come to an end. so, yes.

to naz & sop brudder. thx for dinner & ice-cream. i had fun. thx for listeng to my frets & fuss. i appreciate it veryy much.

for my mates who filled my sch days w laughters & gossip, im thankful. ur presence matters to me. & to those who doesnt, im blessed enuf. cos one way or another, it concerns me.

dno wat im blabbering abt. im simply hurt.

e one w POM

2007-04-20T21:32:00.000+08:00

& i stil feel shitty. im havg diarrhoea. due to all e mee sotos i ate in sch! & also e yong tau foo! (is it e rite spellg?) bleargh! saket hati, saket perot! im supposed to meet yana babe to take my SE charger. borrow frm her workplc. but i lazee la can?

thgs is stil e same.. no chg. im stupid, wat to do. do stupid mistakeS. cant blame me. im not smart, not perfect. ouh wth. no one is! manyy thx to leah & wanee for accompanyg my aftnn. e chat was enuf. rite ~~riza~~wanee? lols. u stil top my list of lameshit fren!

hows Yoga services for workg women? we bring u e servise since u r sooo bz w work & hardly hv e time to keep ur body in shape. anyone interested? & for those who r married, we can cater for ur child also. hahas. confused? hahas. wish me luck!

i need u. tell me abt loneliness.

e one w lying

2007-04-20T00:03:00.000+08:00

i saw an old fren. he said i look sick. yes, i agree. im sick. heart pain to b exact. bleargh!

i feel stupid, unappreciated, naive, meaningless, vulnerable & @#$%^!!!!
thxx eh!

e shift key is spoilt!! irritatg ok!

e one w not-so-well situations

2007-04-19T07:16:00.000+08:00

i cant slp. i woke up at 5.50! decided to wake up, bath & den do my morng prayers. feel so refreshg but cnfrm ltr in clas ngantok. lucky sch ends at 12 tdy. mayb fid meetg us & soon i hv to wake-up call mel. proj grps hv been formed for POM. im w bika, jess, helen & xiu zhen. *bigg smiles*

hahas.. thgs hasnt been so well btwn me & hunns. no doubt i stil love him. but we hv our differences. so i cant xpect evrythg to go ~~PERFECT~~. (can u believe tis? ainee is bein soo positv!)

anws, thgs hasnt been e best at home too. yea, yea, my fault but., dno laaaaa..! & acheek, e past few days, i dno y but he has been followg me. evrywhr i go; toilet, kitchen, my room, balcony. & he even greet me gdbye evrytime i go to sch! & if im in e toilet or i close my door room, he'll meeeeoow for help. tts blardy cute ok!

i feel special. lols! mayb bcos during e hols ive been playg & spendg alot of time w him. & now as im blogging, he's sittg rite here on my bed lickg his body away. i love my buttcheek ok. m veryy glad tt i took him 9 mths ago. w oma's patience & all e family TLC, he has grown up to b a veryy cute, smart & irritatg-at-times cat!

im feelg alot of shitty emotion. y do all gd thgs come to an end?

e one w smokg

2007-04-18T00:30:00.000+08:00

im supposed to b slpg i noe. sch starts at 9 tmr. anws, meli belli may b comg to sch tmr. lookg fwd to meet her. so, 2nd day of sch was fun. 2hrs of lesson & more luffs w hafiz pak-eh & fadh hubby! went home & zZzZz.. blardy ngantok.

i was feelg kinda low tdy. i dno y. i msgd hunns but he din rply. klua sch, col him den mengamok. i shd ustd actually tt he's bz w sch. but he was being so sweeet. he msgd me nicely, persuade me to go home & den meet up in e evening aft he finish sch. was supposed to meet kakyan but i postponed it to thurs. hee..

one stuuuupid thg hunns did -- he put e lightd cigarette on his hand. it was burnt la. y? bcos i start smokg agn. he's angry cos we made e deal. his way of helpg me stop is by scarrg his hand whenever i smoke. i shd go aaaww la but seeing him in pain is not wat i want. i cried alot just now. seriously, no guy had ever done tt for me.

so i promised agn tt i wont smoke. nvmla.. rather quit smokg den seeing boyfie like tt. anws, look fwd to spendg e Sat w hunns. we hv e whole day planned alrd. yaybedaabedoo!! im sooo gonna hv fun! gdnite!

i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u. i love u.

e one w sch

2007-04-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

by e title, u noe sch has startd. *triple yey-ness!* glad laa.. can meet frens & luff, luff, luff! i will try my best to come sch evryday. InsyaAllah. im got e tourism elective. & some otha new subjs - principles of marketg(POM), office administratn(OA) & another i cdnt rmbr. so sch was ok. missg cassie's & fidris' presence. her to MI & him to NP. i wish i was in NP, den i can meet hunns evry single day!

i was alrd all set to go to sch by 10.45 wen sch starts at 12! enthu la ok! yet, i rchd sch late just now. dno y also. cant believe my new time-table. s&w at 4-5.30. bleargh. mon my longest day. e rest oookie la. acceptable.

aft sch, i met hunns! yiippiedoodledoo! we wont c each otha as much so we hv to spend as much time w each otha wen we're free. both of us gg to b bz w sch & i decide to work part-time (he suggestd it also). hmph.. so yea.

hunns fetch me frm sch! yiippledoodledeyss! den off to causeway cos hunns had to repair his lappy. he had no mood cos accordg to him, his lappy = his life. rch der, e salesperson say call a tis hotline to ask for guides. e more he binget. & wen we calld, e office da tutop. pity boyfie. he needs his lappy for sch. cnfrm now, he stress.

den off to Sun Plaza. wanted to watch The Number 23 but its at 9. im a gd girl now so must rch home early. so we watchd 300. at last laa! it was niceeeeeeeeeeee! but veryy gory. can vomit. me & hunns look fwd to share reviews w yana babe & khairul. but.. thgs chg now. sad la cans. talk abt yana babe, i miss u neneh! promise we'll meet up soon!

i told hunns, start e new sem, we gg to do well & achieve our dreams tgthr. which is - wen he's in yr 3, i'll b in yr 1. den wen he finish NS, i finish my poly. den we'll take our degree tgthr. a biz woman & a scientist. coolios! *AMIN*

im e kind of gf who is veryy demandg. i want smthg but i dun want to say. instd, i will just blow my top wen i dun get e thgs i want. &&, i get angry over no apparent reason. yes, tts ainee in a rltnshp. veryy imature horr. nyeah! whutevaaa..!

e one w LOVE?

2007-04-13T22:47:00.001+08:00

here's smthg to share. hunns wrote tis poem for me on Valentines' Day.

Is it really love?
Or is it a passing feeling
Am I not convinced?
A bit uncertain of the feeling

Is it the way you make me feel?
So warm with joy and laughter
Or could it be the happiness
From moments spent together

The lasting bliss, the kiss i miss,
The sweetest thoughts without a touch
The heart that hurts and bears a scar
Thinking how far away you are

You're on my mind most of the day
And at night I go to bed and pray
An angel soft and gentle as you
Would make my sweetest dream come true

Thinking about you alone or in class
Writing your name on my bathroom window glass
Wishing you were here
To love, hold and care
Wishing I had u with me
To cherish and to stare

Into your soft and beautiful eyes
As we both travel to the skies
And mingle with the stars above
But is this really love?

*smiles bigg*
i rmbr e time he read me tis poem.
by e bay at Esplanade.
it was e most swtest moment.
we xchgd our Vday's gift.
i want to rewind tis day & encounter it over & over agn.
cans? like e story 50 First Dates gtu.

hais.. I LOVE MY MUHD SYAMIEL laa.
blardy love him.
yet i gues all gd thgs come to an end ehs?
nyeah. watevaaaa..

e one w Yana Babe

2007-04-12T02:42:00.000+08:00

`late nites at ur crib - Karaoke, American Idol, The Dancefloor, Hikmah
`entertaing each othas nonsense at parties (& almost evrywhr else)
`american idols
`shesha sessions
`growg fat tgthr
`This Fashion, Banquet (discount card!)
`Pasar Malam
`Lau Pa Sat; slackg at Merlion singing our hearts out
`Taka; truth or dare
`Hyatt Biz Centre
`Far East; Ban Mian
`BPP's Mac
`Packs of Sampoerna
`Cam-whoring
`dismantling ur papa's DVD player
`MOS & O Bar
`poker cards
`Thai Express
...& all otha thgs i cdnt rmbr.

babe, u r truly a darling. i will miss u. thx for brighteng up my days. filling it up w laughters & u lame jokes. lols. u made e past few mths extravagant. all e hapi moments stated above i wil cherish. & i hope it doesnt end der oookie! i wil try to b der wen u need me. make sure u do e same for me ok.

agn, im reli glad we gav tis frenshp a chance. 7 yrs & stil a longgg way to go ehs? i heart u la Nur Liyana. certainly, beyond doubt, e BEST.

& yea.. well wishes for u & yan. i hope e greatest for u two. b happy!

done. i dun want to start cryg agn.

e one w NO time

2007-04-09T14:13:00.000+08:00

i met hunns ystd. yeys! wanted to meet yana babe but she was aslp! so i went to bpnjg, all dressed up. i wanted to go out. he tot we were only slackg so he wore apape ntah.. dno y but he was awkward at first. like, funny la. malu dgn gf sndri? *scoffs*

we had dinner at gr mall's Banquet. i ate Laksa. best! & den, we slack. it was nice. absence do make e heart grow fonder eh! we din quarrel. all we did was luff, luff & more luff. i was hyper, i dno y also. we head home at arnd 1130. althou it was a short meet up, i had fun la hunns. thankiuuu.. ((=

so holiday inn calld just now, askd if i wantd to work. but i had plans w hunns to meet aft he finish work at Jrg Point den go bck to yana babe's crib to slack. so, im wonderg, if i want to go to work or to spend time w my darlings. ummm.. we'll c. hahas.

bcos yana babe's bf is coming home soooon, we hv to make use of his absence to reli spend time. & as for hunns & myself, we hv only a wk left bfore sch starts. its his 2nd yr & he cant slack. cis! not tt i can, but mine is more flexible.

done. gonna bath. & im stil soooooooooo tired aft e trip!

e one w holiday part 2

2007-04-09T02:05:00.000+08:00

the pics not in order. more than 300 pics. tts y i put it ike tt. ouh yea, oma joined too. more stories ltr la ok.

njoy e pics! ((=

e one w holiday

2007-04-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

yeys im gg to Genting Highlands & KL!! but booohooo im gg to miss my hunns, yana babe & of course my buttcheek babyy. met hunns just now. not gg to meet him for 5 days. til Sun i thk. gg w kakyan.

so went Jrg Point w hunns, yana babe & khairul. ate at Banquet & used my discount card for e 1st time. heyy! i was xcited ok eventhou it was only 10%. (babi ko yana!) we den head to bpnjg to slack der. lookg at his face for a few hrs hapi enuf, havg to hug & smell his masam-ness. hee.. sick i noe but i loike. &&, yeys! agn cos i took his jacket home w me. so i'll feel closer to him. (cheyy.. swt la tu kira) of course im gg to bring it wen i go Msia.

hais.. miss me ok pple. i will miss u too. well, i m missg alot of pple actually. but wth. e only ones who were truly der were hunns & yana babe. pffft!

**to abykucyg, pls hv enuf rest. ure sick. & pls behave wen im not arnd. i will miss u like crazeeee..! dun overwork urself. ure not a robot. i love u!
*to yana looove, pls take gd care of urself. make sure wen i return ure stil e same. pls b hapi wen ur bf returns. i wish u all e best bebeh. i love u too!

e one w Aprils' Fool

2007-04-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

buttcheek was on my bed wen i returned home tis morng. sunggoh steady & relek. siap dgn selimut & bantal. too pampered la him. but wateva, he's e darling.

i slpt like nobody's busines tdy. almost 12 hrs. no, i din go boogie. spend e wkend w hunns & his frens. i had funnn. n of course i was made a fool by kang & a new fren, mumu. of course dey were little fites. but we kiss & make up. just sittg by e bay, njoyg each othas company was enuf for me. u noe how gals r sooo easily content. yea, im like tt.

im gg to welcome april w a whole new perspective. im gg to b a more reasonable & ustdg gf. haha. n of course, a better daughter, sister, fren & student. i askd hunns to name all our gd & bad moments. i 1st came out w e time at Lot 1 whr he had to go for tis meetg but at e same time cdnt bear to leave me. tt moment reli made me feel appreciated. like, special sgttt. he paused wen he was abt to mentioned e bad moments. tknk la kn bbual psl benda yg buat kita mrh.. so we stick to hapi moments. my 1st time seeing him at Furama. how i hate guys who wear coloured lens but i drool wen i c his eyes. our ECP sessions. hahas. both agreed tt we nv tot we'll b tgthr. cos he's cous' fren & lots of otha rsns. come to thk of it, im hapi. very hapi.

n yea i shdnt gv up wen times were bad. cos i wont noe mayb in e future we'll hv smthg special tgthr? & stupid me din make tt happend. i wish to xperience more hapi moments w him tgthr. & we'll spend e most-est time we can w each otha. its gg to b difficult i noe. cos he's workg mon-fri now, 12 hrs & schs startg sooooon. he'll hv 8-5 lessons. which means no time for me. but i'll try to b e most ustdg gf & wont mengamok at evry little thg. insya-Allah.

abykucyggg. i want go Escape! hahas. (so much for tryg to b ustdg, more like im demandg now) hee. lovingg & missingg u 24/7!

e one w ME

2007-03-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

so hunns xplaind tt he said thgs wrongly. not tt he love her, he just cant forget abt her. aiyah. wateva laa. it all sounds e same to me. one thg i hv to say abt most guys, i repeat, MOST guys, dey act differently twds their gf wen dey r w their guy frens. ustd? i noe u cant xpect dem to cuddly n all. nk act macho la konon. or wateva.. but, dno eh how to xplain. i dun like hunns wen he's w his frens la.

so met up hadis, zaki n aslam. w yana babe of course. waaaaahh it has been a longgggg time. we went for shesha. i heart hadis' vespa can? n zaki's cuteness. well, all were bz talkg. n zaki was e only one who can layan me. korg pnah tgk cita LOST? ahhh.. kitaorg mcm gtu jgk uh. i had a great luff. n we actually brought up all e past stories. e one w MAK-MOK. k, i was fat last time, so dey gav me tis name. i noe i stil m fat. yes, those guys were mean last time. veryyyy mean. hadis esp. abt baba coming to sch & all. alahai.. soooo gerek & kecoh!! && only now i noe e real reason y he was mean. cos once i buey-ed him. during secondary sch time. at bpp! lols. i dun rmbr at all la! most of e stories, i cdnt rmbr. but i njoyd myself. i soooo miss sec sch lyf. =)) bestest yrs.

i hope to do of these thgs more often. n i wish to chg can? in all aspect. i want to b more dependent & i want to keep thgs to myself. (of course e list goes on but rite now, i cdnt thk of any more) thgs tt made me angry, sad, happy, cry or wateva shit. all these feelgs u noe. hais.. i thk its betta tis way. ((=

e one w x-gf

2007-03-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

so he admits he stil loves his ex. yeays! imagine wat state i m in now. imagine ok. tkpe2. satu2 tglkn aku je. da biasa.

tts all i want to blog. we'll c how thgs go la.

done.

e one w boredom

2007-03-21T13:01:00.000+08:00

tgk si gumokkk nie. keja nya hari2 masok bilik aku, duk atas kotak, tgk burung. satu hari terjun jgk dia dari tingkap. tk takot. aku tgk, aku yg takot.

at last! prison break season 2 episode 20 is out! ive watched it. im dying of boredom. i read all 266 testimonials given to me at frensta. i got nthg to do. nthg at all. oma did askd me to cook. lazy la. hunns work. babes too. me? slack at home, eat. tts all i noe.

im bored! bored! bored! *screaaaaam* calld yana babe just now. she finished work at 5 den at 7 she got intv at SMU. mayb khairul meetg her also. i want to get out of e hse! so mayb i'll join dem. hunns wil b at town i supposed. meet him den.

glad thgs r gettg a lil' bit betta btwn me n hunns. *AMIN*

buttcheek makin lama makin boring. asek nk membontot oma saje. kakyan work. oma asek tgk cita indon tk abes2. kakna buat persiapan utk kahwin. baba gg to work soon. aku duk dpan laptop aje. begitula keadaan di rmh ini.

e one w decisions

2007-03-20T13:58:00.000+08:00

i hate e way thgs r rite now. ive nv felt worthless n useless. pls include me in ur lyf. i just dun want to b labelled "gf". i want more. eurgh! i want to hv a say too. in evry decisions made. rite now, im just agreeing w evrythg. do u ask for my opinion? do u even care wat i feel or thk? hais.. its all abt u. i dun c two pple playg their parts in tis rltnshp. its either u or me. tts always e case. we nv work tgthr. it takes two pple to fall in love. take two to make a rltnshp work. im just repeatg i noe. im making my points clear.

i'll just run. away from evrythg. even from u. i dun c y i shd share anymo. cos it makes no difference. not a bit difference. i dno how i allow u to treat me tis way n stil i stay. its e power of love. cheesy i noe. wth. alaa.. biasa ainee dlm rltnshp slalu kena gni. perkara yg sunggoh biasa.

on e brighter side, ive watch stomp e yard. its a cool show. a totally diff kind of dance. catch it. i strongly reccommend. stil, You Got Served stil rocks!

i noe now u'll say tt ure disappointed tt im sayg all tis. tt i stil dun realise e love & care u showered me w. yes, i stil dun. i noe im expectg alot. tts me. i need ur attention. n i need to b a part of ur lyf. der, im repeatg. so pls, dig it.

e one w rltnshp

2007-03-19T00:14:00.000+08:00

stayd at home e whole day. no one called to meet. im bored. now i wish sch had not close. (yes. luff) at least i hv smthg to do. e past few days, its either i sit at home or mrayap. n its always w hunns, yana babe & khairul. no, im not complaing. im thankful. i wanna work! evryday kind of job u noe. no more hotel banquet. tired la like tt. any reccomendatns?

life have not been fair to me. i wont say i hv probs. i brough tis to myself. to b more exact, im e prob. i deserved it la. for those who noe, u noe. sorry oma, sorry baba. wil try to behave ok. insyaAllah i wil achieve wat u guys dream of ok. i wil make u guys proud. one day, eventually.

family aside. lets tok abt hunns. our rltnshp too has not been perfect. i just feel tt we r no longer crazy abt each otha anymo. i m, totally m. we quarrel most of e time. i dun like. i noe u dun too but.. we've drifted. so far apart from each otha. yes, we do spent time w each otha. but i dno if its quality time. how do i let out all these feelgs eh? i tried talkg to him just now. he did say sorry but i dun need tt. i need chgs. yes. mmg manusia gtu. tk pnah cukop dgn apa yg ade. hais..

im sad. blardy sad. im feelg pathetic, useless n worthless. mayb hunns deserve smone betta? ive always tot abt tis. im not smart, im not family-oriented. im not PERFECT. hais.. how wud u like it if ur bf says tis abt his ex? of course minus all e NOTs la. blearghhh.

im tired. i cried thkg abt all these. im not sayg im not happy. in fact, ive nv felt happier bfore. ive nv regret knowg him. ya Allah.. y m i feelg all these? tk suka. tk suka. benci!!

e one w being fat

2007-03-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

yeays!! exams over. evm was do-able. Alhamdulilah sponsorship came out for e essay qn. cos i reli studied tt chap like gila. i can throw my books away now. 3 wks of hols. ajer!!!

so i stayed at home e whole day. blardy lazee n slpy. all i did at home was to eat, eat n eat. oma cook sambal goreng. yummy! i ate 4 meals tdy? n den kakna cook fried maggi. kakyan did tot of orderg KFC. mayb ltr? lols.

i admit i hv been eatg alottt lately. n my stomach is growg. my sch skirt is tight. n e L size uni doesnt seemed so big anymo. im FAT. not PHAT. which is, Pretty, Hot And Tempting. k, luff pple. hunns askd me to go exercise. even yana babe said tt my perot wasnt like tis bfore. aiyohhh!

but seriously, im eatg alot. i used to not eat my food clean. but now, i do. like ystd, i ate hunns' ban mian aft eatg my sambal ikan rice. sheesh. i hv to do smthg abt tis sey. my gym regime has died. i need company i gues. who wants to join?

i shall slp soon. not slpy but nthg betta to do. =)) hunns is stress. yet he doesnt want to share. i wonder y. he nv tell me anythg. m i not an ustdg person? i confide in him. y cant he do e same. evrytime say leave him alone, he needs time. i sooo dun ustd. if it was me? surely he merajok or get angry tt i nv tel. fair? well, nthg is. now i feel worthless n useless.

enuf. i want to col n slow-rock w him. ngerrrti?

e one w BCM ppr

2007-03-12T13:15:00.000+08:00

at cck lib now. alone. n pathetic. i want to study for EVM but i so so not in e mood. im glad im able to do BCM just now. no reports, no fax. just letter, memo n minutes of meetg. whee..! another ppr left den holidays. but wat do i do? sit at home, mrayap. tts all.

so i left home at 7.30. i find tt early. planned to meet sally n askd abt e format. i rchd sch exactly at 8.30. 1 hr journey. so i just txt her n askd. buang msg aku je. e ones i askd, wasnt tested. bleargh.

so on Sat went ECP w hunss kn? yerpp i had fun! den to yana babe crib on Sun. so i wasnt at home for 2 days. tk balek. blardy scared la. cnfrm get fuck. ouh yes, yana's cat, miscarriage. foetus was found at her kitchen. premature kitten. can c e shape of e head, tail. but i looks like shit frm far. well. it had been der for 3 days? until yana's dad do his "CSI" thgy. lols. but.. eeeewww..! partly geli, partly kesian. sheesh. lucky buttcheek male.

so i ate alottt at yana's. her dad cook ayam rendang. nice!! k so i did some of my BCM revision der. fell aslp n den head home at 1.30am! til now, oma, baba hvnt spoke to me. cnfrm kena scold. takotttt.

was talkg to naz at msn. he'll come by ltr. teman me. my dear bro. n, n, talked to aida. she said she know hunns. saw him alot of times. well. both stay at bpnjg. wat do u xpect ehs. lols. k, tts all. im at e lib, i shd b studyg. not blogging. wish me luck pple!

e one w njoyg

2007-03-10T16:30:00.001+08:00

aaahh.. ive just finishd cleang my room. whee..~ shocked eh? lols. kakyan went to kak ros'. she nikah tdy. congrats. wil come for her sanding tmr. hunns workg. babes too. bored. dead bored. tts y e clean room. bleargh.

studied 7 units of EVM. 2 more to go. im gettg e format for BCM alrd. yeays. all prepared for ppr on mon n tues. confident tt i'll pass but to score high GPA. hmmm.. aft tt. parrrrrty all nite long. i gues i'll work. hahaks. Great Eastern Life? yeays! kakyan wants to go Genting. anyone wants to tag along? i want to spend time w hunns but he has bills to pay. financial matters, accordg to him, need to b settled.

i met hunns ystd. w yana babe n khairul. hmph. we fought bcos of e names in e hp. for those who noe me, im not e sort to check my bf's hp. i trust dem fully. we joked at first n suddenly, it became real. e jealousy, y tis, y tt. u noe those qns. wateva laaa.. i noe i only want happy moments. so i put evrythg aside.

we den head to Lau Pa Sat. eat seafood! but i din get to eat my lala. =(( cos dey dun like! so we ordered bbq sting ray, sambal kang kong n, n, n hotplate beancurd. yummy! i want coconut juice. but dey dun hv it. *disappointed* by e time we finish eatg, it was alrd 12midnite. den we walkd to Merlion. playd poker, sing. sing. n more singing. my voice now gone alrd. lols.

den yana babe recalled all those sec sch STUPID moments. we luff like org gila. n of e reasons y we fought. babe! put all these aside k. cos clearly, its stupid. we head home arnd 4.30. took cab. den i flat.

k, tdy meetg hunns agn. yeays! we gg ECP. tts e only plc, reli, whr we njoy each othas company. cos ders no one else to bother us.

gfs, u noe wen u like it if ur bf show u off to his frens, like he's proud to hv u n all. holdg hands while walkg, cuddlg in e bus/mrt, a kiss on ur forehead. its nice isnt it. like, e 2 of u cant get enuf of each otha. like u spend ur time tgthr as if it was ur last. n u smile evrytime u meet him, n u xpect e same thg frm him. like even if u dun meet for 1 day, its like a thousand yrs. i want all these. u gals feel me?

hais..

e one w johor

2007-03-09T01:39:00.000+08:00

went jb w oma n kakyan. aft soooo long. do u noe tt e Singapore custom da up ckit? haaa.. u scan ur own passport now. coolness ekh! i was blardy jakun la. if u dun ustd, go check it out la. went der to take kakyan's baju. at larkin. ate mee hong kong der. i loikee! oma as always, she go wet market. angkot as manyy thgs as she can. i got myself a shoe. den head to ct square but der was nthg nice to buy. so wasted! ouuu.. i bought bra. hot pink.

n tdy is like my hari bodo. i left my wallet at e toilet.. i only realised it wen we want to order cakes at secret recipe. panic gila. i wanted to cry. went back to e plcs we recalled. finaaly i rmbrd. den run like crazee. feeling amazing race gtu. LOLS. gedebak, gedebuk.. i got it back. my my $ inside all gone n smthg tts sooooo precious to me. but im thankful i got my impt stufs back.

got back here, i on my hp. hunns msg twice. i din tel him i was gg cos we were on a fite. i called him wen i got home. of course he was angry. my bad. i din even say sorry. hais.. stuuuupid ainee.

but babyy. i nv nv ever toyed w ur feelgs bfore. evrsince i love u. it hurts wen u say tt. but i noe u were angry n i accept tt. im sori for all my mistakes ok. of which ive did. doing n gg to do. im sorry.

i look fwd to c u tmr. =))

e one w feelings

2007-03-08T03:26:00.000+08:00

i feel stuupid. i dno y. i love my hunns. but i just feel tt we're driftg apart. yes u may c us happy tgthr n all. but ders like always smthg tts missing. like we r no longer madly in love w each otha. like he no longer njoys my company as much. i told him all these. n he got angry. he called me a hypocrite n said tt love sux. hais.. tk fhm kn..?

mayb its bcos he's bz workg? n tt he has no time for me. yes, he do meet me up aft work. yes, he put aside his tiredness n all. yes, he stil love me as bfore. but.. eurghh. i dno. i just feel insecure. we talked abt us being tgthr. he talked abt treatg me betta -- returning e treatment ive given him all tis while. i noe i cant xpect it to b anytime soon but.. ntahla! i dno. i dno. i dno.

but i love him laa. alottt. he makes me happy. he makes me feel complete. e way he looks at me, e way he talks, his eyes.. it captures my heart. (evryone goes awwww)

i just hope comes a day whr he realise how crazeee my love is for him. i love u abykucayangg.

e one w changes

2007-03-06T01:28:00.000+08:00

gg thru major chgs rite now. i hope evrythg turns out well. for both me n hunns. i cant slp. too afraid. n i hv to wake up at 6am. got e Shell Livewire thg at ITE Dover. long day sey. n den meetg hunns. we'll just wait n c. *prays*

n on Fri to Thai Express agn w yana babe. ouh yes, hunns workg der now. so i went to surprise him. i ate pad thai beef n yana, fire noodles i gues. not tt nice la e food. den wait for hunns to finish work. went to bpnjg. met e rest der. ouh yes. yana babe signed up for THIS card. lols. we bought ourselves dresses. nice! pics below ok.

so i went MOS w yana babe, hunns, a'an cuzzie, aj n khairul on Sat. din njoy myself tt much. had a tiff w hunns. n yess we wore e dresses we bought at this fashion! pics w yana. wil post ltr. n i hv to blog tis. yana FELL at Main Arena!! she fell back n rolled. luff pple! luff!!

done.

wait, i love my hunns can? heex.

the one w sch stufs

2007-02-26T17:10:00.001+08:00

so ive sent my appeal letter to sit for BCM ppr. sally talkd some sense into my head. so im stil schlg. did tot of quitg. y? cos of some pple who dun appreciate me. i find it stuuupid la. i stil hv sooo many otha pple who wants to befren me. y stick to e 2 of dem eh? so wat if pple wil tok. i stil dun get it. just bcos of 1 mistake. ONE stupid mistake. n dey do tis? pls, thk. wen u were at Bugis, alone, i came dwn rushg. i took a cab. how many times actually hv i did tt? but stil pple dun appreciate. these arent wat we call frens. dey actually abandoned e fact tt once we were sooo close, like sistas. n just bcos of not showg up, u hv to outcast pple? pls. grow up.

so b it if pple want to tok. i just want to concerntrate. finish another yr n get out of e sch. i dun wish to even rmbr these pple once exist in my lyf. fyi, tis is how much i hate dem. cos dey made my lyf miserable. eurghh.. i believe in KARMA. so b it. wat goes arnd, comes arnd. so it'll surely happen to u pple. im glad all these happ. now i noe e otha sides of pple. how mean dey can b. fcuk la. i dun need tt.

n thx cassie, ambika, xiu zhen, jeslyn for tdy. i reli appreciate it u guys. n mel, we'll push each otha to go to sch ok. we'll b der for each otha. n we hv to do our roleplay tis wed. i hope e best for us both. i love u all la bebeh.

i want to make my baba n oma proud. tts all im workg twds now. e othas, TOLAK TEPI SUAA.

done.

the one w "fishing"

2007-02-20T17:10:00.000+08:00

we wanted to go out. like, reli e both of us to smwhr we can spend time tgthr n njoy ourselves. i wanted to go e zoo. but its 15 bux. expensive la. so hunns suggested we go fishg at labrador park. so i met him at bp intchg. it was both our 1st time der. he checkd tt 176 passed by der. confident! end up at b.merah.. its like deserted. cos of CNY. eurghh. hate tis time of e yr. den all e shops wil b closed. ouh yes, hunns was lookg for prawns, bait for fishg. but no pasar, no shops was opened. cant b askg MacD n LJS rite? both of us got hungry n ate at KFC. lols. i ate bandito. believe it. yes, i do feel like puking wen im inside e plc. eeewww..!

so we walkd to a petrol stn. hunns was hoping dey wud sell prawns. tried our luck but i end up buyg asam masin. nice! nenek used to live at redhill so i kinda noe e plc. n den we walked to e mrt. it was a long walk ok. not yet startd fishg but it was alrd 6 plus. den sat at mrt, both dno whr to go. hunn w his fishg rod. i with sluar pendek. end up go ECP. lols. n we actually walked back to b.merah cos ders a straight bus which goes der. wahlandeuyyy!!

rch ECP den meet a'an cuzzie, aj, kang n archik. dey from archik's chalet. we wanted to sit at e jetty but it was too far. archik had to go off cos he had to send his uncle. so hunns askd him to bring along prawns. obviously chalet got raw food rite. while waitg, dey playd poker while i tahan kencing. lols. wen archik returns, he din bring along anythg. hunns was disappointd i noe. den we went to 7-11. he die2 want to fish n so we bought crab-stick to act as e bait. funny la lu mat. ouh yes! we actually go arnd hawker ctrs n askd dem if dey hv raw prawns. tt was funny.

at arnd 12 plus i thk, e rest went off. we stayd to fish. just for e fun of it. lols. we just sat down n did nthg. n den hunns suggest tt we drink. so we went to tis bar which was closed, pull chairs, on e fan n startd drinkg. we were soooo drunk la. n we did smthg stuupid. reli stuupid. but wat its worth, it was w mamett. *smiles* hunns fell a couple of time. i vomitted.

at 7 we went off, took 196 to clmt n went our separate ways. hunns took 184. i planned to take 188. n gues wat. my ezlink no more $. n hv no more $. n i walked home. from clmt to cck. whee..! it was fun.. all drunk n tired. nx walk, from ECP to CCK. wanna join..?

e one w babes

2007-02-17T14:57:00.000+08:00

went to yana's crib. so she cooked for both of us. agn, we mug tgthr. n we dismantle her dad's dvd player. ders a broken disc inside n we sooo wanna karaoke. n wen we managed to get e disc out, e sound of e mic cdnt function. yana calld her dad n askd lots of times abt it. finally, cik sayali came home. especially for us. ouh yes, lia babe joined too. at last! i met her..! it has been mths. e last time was raya. actually MOS but tts not proper. so we sang our hearts out. we njoyd ourselves. i recalld those times during my sec sch wen we always hang out at ros' crib n karaoke. sooo nice! i miss being 16!!

at e same time, i hv to meet hunns. to chg e colour of his watch. i bought turqoise for him. e prefer e white one. but i feel bad la to leave yana like tt. so i told hunns to meet me at cck instd. n he got angry. but eventually we met at town. so ders me, lia, yana, khairul. hunns was w aj n kang. ltr, aepul joined. we ate at LJS cine.

i hate wen he left me to go riding w his frens. eurghhh. i merajok la. n den e rest of us slack at taka. we playd truth or dare, poker. it was fun. n aepul n khairul kissed! hahaks. we den walk out arnd 2 plus n took NR3. i slpt at yana's crib til she went to work. n den i head home. n im stil angry at mamet. for leavg me! *cries*

nvm, lets c e photos.

the one w Valentines' Day

2007-02-15T14:56:00.000+08:00

the rose n card
e fake flower i gave him.
posing w our gifts.
agn, we posed.
being us..

candid shots.

jejaka melayu terakhir. LOLS.

posing w his flower.

we watched Epic Movie at Marina Sq. it was a 6.30 show. we stil hv time so we snap, snap n snap. ouh yes, he made me wait for him at cck lrt den he surprised me by gving me e e rose n card. *smiles*

then we ate at 2 Hot Halal. i ordered mango fizzy drink wsambal fish rice. he ordered raspberry drink i thk. w spaghetti. hahaks. n my food was betta den his. sorrie deary.

ouh yes, ders tis heart-shaped spotlight at Esplanade. i find it cool. so we took pics of it. whee.. i loike.

e best Valentines' Day i must say. reli njoyd myself. n i got flower! yeays. althou its not sunflower or daisy. hee.. n a veryy meaningful card w poem written by hunns himself. so we watch epic movie. funny story. den we had dinner at 2 hot halal at Esplanade. den sat by e bay. open our gifts n njoyd e scenery. we sat dwn smwhr near e oriental til 3am i thk. den took cab home. agn, my day filled w love n happines. seriously, whenever im w him, im smiling. else, i'll be sulkg.

I LOVE U LA MAMET HUNNEY!

e one w bugis

2007-02-14T01:19:00.000+08:00

met hunns. he accompany me meet doc. i got gastric flu. surprised actually. hahaks. den we head to Bugis cos i want to eat fried fish soup. whee..! its been a long time. ouh yes, der, we fought. cos both mentioned abt e MOS incident. den both binget sndri. stuuupid. den i walked away. cos no plans. i din want to go home. i want to spend time w him. so i called him, askd whr he was. we talkd thgs out n its back to normal.

walkd arnd Bugis Street. i bought a black top. hee.. while walkg, i held his hand yet he kept pullg it. i dno y. i merely askd him y. but we ended up quarreling. fcukg pissed off. den he said abt me always mrajok. he said it harsh. n i hv flashbacks. its like e same. hais..

n so i told myself if i want thgs to work, i hv to chg. i hv to thk differently. so i acted ok n just forget abt evrythg. i want happy moments. no quarrels. so we continued walkg arnd bugis n den to west coast park. jauh kn kita tercampak. hahaks. we bought MacD prosperity meals, sat down n eat. e plc blarrrdy spooky. i din thk of it at 1st. but hunns eyes veryy gatal n kept lookg arnd. we went off at 11 plus. took cab home.

meetg him agn tmr. Valentine's Day. yeays...!

*buying him tis..

e one w ECP

2007-02-11T15:36:00.000+08:00

( the pics r not in order. ouh whaddahell.)

i had fun..! best. best. best. we met at arnd 6. den hailed a cab n went to ECP. rch abt 7 plus..? n yea.. ders Burger King now at ECP. k, im not updated. wateva.. we went to our normal spot n pitch e tent. we played poker, munch n look at e stars. soon aft, kang called hunns n askd if he cud join. w a'an cuzzie, aj, his gf n kid. we kirim burger frm MacD. hungry gilerr.

we did nthg much. sing, sing n sing. no fites. *glad* we took pictures..! not many cos both looked shagged. soon it was 7 n we head home. bought nasi lemak at tis mama shop n ate on e bus. heex. althou it was nthg special, i njoyd it veryy much hunns. thankiu.

tmr sch. aiyer.. dun want to go can? we'll c.

the one w e deals

2007-02-10T03:18:00.000+08:00

n so we met at e deal table. its just behind my blk. at 1st der was nthg much to talk abt. i askd y he lied. n mamet said he was disappointd to c me drunk. mamet dislike me gg clubbg. both of us wanted to gv up on tis rltnshp. but ders smthg holdg us bck n i believe its called LOVE?

so we sat down. both thkg of either we shd carry on or gv up. n so we both came to an agreement whr both of us cannot club or drink. unless we r gg to do it tgthr. n of course i continued smoke-free n he drug-free. so we kiss n make up. went to Lot 1 as both of us were hungry. n gues who we saw wen we were abt to leave Food Culture..? OMA n KAKYAN! like, damn! finally, oma saw mamet. he salam her n we went to McDonalds to meet aj n his gf. we just sat dwn n talk. he did tot of gg to ECP n overnite. but it was too sudden so we'll go on Sat.

at 11 plus he sent me home. hais.. im glad. reli glad ders tis thg called CHANCES. i love u la hunns.

e one w MOS

2007-02-09T01:17:00.000+08:00

( pictures taken in O Bar in yana babe.)

i wanted to meet mamet e whole day. he said aft gym. i waited. n den he said he's tired n wanted to go home. like blardy hell. so im ok w it. went out w yana babe at nite. n gues who i saw at Liang Court's 7-11? MAMET. w a'an cuzzie n aj. like clearly dey gg MOS rite? fcukg angry la. he lied!! so i went to O Bar w yana. drank 5 shots n 2 screwdrivers. den to MOS. i saw a couple of familiar faces. lya babe, aepul, rasul, leah, ai, sufi, n Furama peeps. best!

i saw mamet e 1st time n din bother to do anythg cos i was angry. den i spend an hr in e toilet vomittg. yana was pissed i noe. sori bebs. ouh yes, i did vomit at e bar n also tis hole against e wall. hahaks. stuupid. den i saw him agn for e 2nd time. tis time i followed him til outside. i din say a word cos my head was stil heavy. i rmbrd him punchg e railg cos he was angry. den n complaind to aj n cried. den dey walked off. i knew i borrowd smone hp but cdnt rmbr who he was. lols.

den yana came out, pulled me bck in. tts wen i reli parrrrty. i dance my heart out. even if it was a stuuupid song. i tried not smsing him e whole day. n i just did. told him to meet me tmr aft his ppr. we need to talk.

hais. we'll just c how thgs go.

the one w events

2007-02-09T00:51:00.000+08:00

getting ready..

fangels w beats society artiste

opening performance
miss anna thanam doing her presentatn our crowd

cassie deary n me

finally, our event is over. Alhamdulillah. we hv yet to thank Ms Anna Thanam n Mr Mohd Nor from SANA. Imran, Syarif, Naufal, Aiman from Beats Society n of course Flauntiqs n Soul of Teens. n Cassie for helpg us take pics. manyy thx to all of u. n also FANGELS. for makg evrythg a success. whee..! now we're left w de-brief report for EVM. ETP's proposal n BCM's roleplay. exams on 12 n 13 march. 2 pprs n den.. hooooray!! i'll work my ass off den.

tts abt all i gues. ders another part. later.

e one w projs n mamet

2007-02-05T05:05:00.000+08:00

i cant slp. so decide to blog. its 5am in e morng. hvnt been blogging. too bz w projects. both EVM n ETP. on fri, moi calld n said tt all e file in her thumbdrive is gone. thus we need to re-type n print. so met her at her aunt's crib at 5 i thk. til 7.30. we went to Pioneer Mall. hahaks. it was my first time der. n den went to moi's crib. we wrapped e gifts n rolled e feedback form tgthr w e program sheet. most of it was done. sooo hapi.

i sat at home e whole day on SATURDAY. believe it. i occupy my time tying our EVM goodies tgthr. effort la. well, it looks nice to me. n smone called to spoil my day. i called mamet to complain eventhou im stil not on talkg terms w him. i cried la. den i msgd him sayg tt i need him. he promised to meet aft he went out w his frens.

oh well wats new. he din. hais.. i was alrd at 7-11 actually. waitg for him to txt me. n den i calld him. w his mabok voice, he said he was stil at Esplanade n der wasnt any train or bus left. fucked up. i was reli angry but i try my best to b ok w it. i hang up n cry.

just now Fangels n Mel meet up. for ETP. we hv to present our Fondue Bar to mr tong on tues. so we met to do e slides tgthr. i had a good luff althou it wasnt e same. hais.. wateva laaa.. ETP is almost done. but im worried for our event. n i stil hv no idea wat to wear. nvm.

n yes i met mamet. in spite of how angry i was. i put it all away. wasnt tt being mature? i dno. we had fun laa at first. luff, luff n more luffs. but nthg last foreva ehs? he tried to carried me. den he say "asl berat nih? eeeeii.. binatang" how m i supposed to feel? i din want to spoil e moment so i ignored la. n den i said smthg la, i was bein sarcastic to him. n to thk he can repeat e binatang thg. fwahhh.. was it wrong for me to get angry? i kept quiet aft tt. no more jokes. nthg. we were like two separate pple, walkg. den i askd, "best? meet den mcm gni?" he ans, "u shd noe e ans to tt qn wat" n so i gav up. y shd i tok abt all tis thgs wen he cdnt gv a damn abt it? sheesh.

i dun wish to mention e last part. i walked home agn. alot of stuupid tots run thru my mind. he said he wasnt ready for a serious rltnshp. i wonder, arent we in one? or is tis just a fling? he likes e way thgs r rite now? well, i dun. hv been playg ur game all these while. i quit. i just cant take it anymo. ive always tot of tis; mayb if it was his ex, he'll treat her differently. well, im not her. she's perfect.

well hunns, mayb its game over for me n u.

e one with ja n ical

2007-02-02T02:18:00.000+08:00

my jaja bing darla. n her babyy ical.

i like his face in tis pic. cute nk mampos.

tis pic isnt tdy. its in ja's hp. n its cute. taken during raya 06. babies in love. lols.

i cant slp. time check - 2:18 am. hais. ive been cryg. song currently playg - by imran ajmain. ghaibmu n seribu tahun. i want compromise n hanya menari. yana say im gg googoogaagaa over him. hahaks. mayb? his songs la actually. very nice. superb local talent. no doubts. i cant believe im praising him, reli. cos i hate his sudah tu sudah song. until i heard e remix he did at Singapura Live w Sleeq.

k, enuf abt tt. lets blog abt wat happ.

i met jaja bing. yeys. w ical. c photos above kays. went to her crib. waited for her to get ready. den to bp plaza. we ate at Mac. ical sooo cute la. very smart. hahaks.

i was supposed to hv fun w mamet. but shit happens eh? we quarrel. lets c. i was easily pissed just now. cos im sooo hungry. no energy. u noe wen ure hungry n u hv to mood to joke? my fault was tt i din tel him my situation. so evry joke he made, i took it to heart. while we were walkg to e bustop, he joked. i got angry n said i wanted to go home. (ouh yes, we planned to go bp plaza to meet a'an cuzzie n aj) i did mean it at first la. but he consoled n i was ok. n at e bustop agn, i joked abt wantg to go home. i smiled aft tt. 985 came, a bus which goes to cck. i let it passed n said to him i'll wait for him to go. actually, i wanted him to force me to go. like make me feel he wants to spend time w me n want me to b der arnd him 24/7. ummm.. ustd? but went 75 came, he asked, "balek kn?" i said yes n he walked off, boarded e bus n left me alone. sighs.

i wanted to ignore. but i was reli disappointed la. n so i msged.

me: cant believe u jln. hais.. thx.
he: eh, pls la. dun play dis game wif me. awk nk alek pe

me: kita aksen majok. wat game eh? alaa.. tkpela. tima kasih la byk2.
he: aksen? haha.. abe awk ingat kite tk majok uh? tetibe ckp nk alek.. sukehati k. kite siang2 da ckp, 'jom lepak mac.' wateva k ainee. i dunno wats wrong wif u.
me: y do u thk i din take e 985? papela syamiel. its just e way u treat me.nvmla. cant believe u did tt.
he: n u make sure alek eh.. u said so rite.
he: ye ok... its me! ok. remember, its me. tk cr. n u better go home.
me: y do u care. u left like tt. thx

he: ouu.. its like dat eh? we'll c k.. we'll c..
me: awak nk tau benda, i spend my last 10 bux to b der w u. tk kisah uh tk mkn. n yet i get tis frm u? i put u priority in evrythg uh syamiel.. yet im only an option. i had enuf la. e way e treat me. we'll c? ahh.. tgh uh nnt.
me: thk uh. kita nk balek cpat? my dads at home. tkpe uh. lepas satu, satu buat kita gni. kita mmg tkda prasan nya org. thx uh syamiel. ive seen how much u love me.
he: abe ape? ungkit? eh tlg la. i said wat? jgn naek cab. sukehati awk k. kite kt sini, tknk awk alek, n awk skg ckp mcm gini. kita tk UNDERSTAND awak!!!
me: ungkit? shows hw impt u r to me. papela. bye.
he: Ya Allah.. awk tu yg tk notice. tink la. y i even ask u cum my sch, siak.. eh, dahlah ainee. awk 20 tis yr, accept it. tink maturely la..

n den i stop msging him. just bfore tis, i left him a message at friendster. sighs.

da. im not done cryg.

e one whr ainee goes to NP

2007-02-01T15:04:00.000+08:00

in hunns sch rite now. waitg for him to end class at 5. hahaks. i seriously got nthg betta to do. ystd went to yana's crib to slack. it was fun. fun. fun. we eat, catch up old times n bitch abt pple. tts wat gurls do wen dey meet! wanted to meet hunns but he's tired. ouh yes. yana got 2 new cats - boy n gal. so simple e names. n she threw pheobe away! meanie. i had fun meetg u up babe. thx ehs. n i did a bad thg ystd. i smoked. puff 2 sticks wen i told hunn i'll smoke only 1. o'oh. n i stil hv e rest of 8 sticks under my pillow. hahaks. cos i dun intent to smoke tdy.

din attend e morng clas tdy. seriously, i wil receive my poor attendence letter soon. reli soon. no mood la want go sch. of no use alrd. n to sit at home.. aiyahhs. so went to kranji to take e NEWater for our event. took cab to my crib. n den dey went home. 6 more days to our event. gosh. i reli hope we'll do well. *prays*

aft EVM is done, left ETP n BCM's roleplay. sheesh. askd yana for help on e roleplay ystd. she damn good la. come up w ideas so fast. she even acted it out for me. thx hor babe. reli clueless abt ETP. like, suddenly we hv to do a presentatn. arghhh. nv knew it wud b tis hard.

so now, as i hv nthg else to say, gdbye.

ouh yes. yes. tel me, wat r e qualities of a gd fren? smone told me tis bfore. a fren corrects u wen ure wrong. comfort u wen ure down. forgv u wen u made a mistake. n if reli, she/he is a true fren, dey wont leave u just like tt. i soooo treasure my four darlings. lia, rose, ja, yana. even if i go MIA. even if i did a terrible2 mistake. dey dun questioned me. in fact, dey trust me. even aft sooooo many wrongs. i wdnt trade them for anyone. dey r my life companion. thx la baybeh.

u guys hv no idea wat im gg thru. hope ure hapi. only tt matters now.

e one with pool

2007-01-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

yet agn. i din hv fun in sch. well, wats new. pple succeed in making my life miserable. congrats. went to tis buildg behind IMM n took my SE K610i hp. at last. e wait is finally over. e not fun part was tt i had to pay $94.50.

i told hunns abt wat happ n he askd to meet aft he finishd sch. cos i wantd to go out alone at first. so he just accompany me. i actually plannd to go home, wash up n bath, take my lappy along w me n sit dwn n do roleplay. since hunns offered to, y not rite.

i waited at KAP Mac til 6. he was supposd to finish sch at 5. so i waited for 2 hrs. n den e lappy batt got flat n most of e plug sockets were used. so.. i went to Cold Storage n walkd arnd. den he came. i was hungry. reli hungry. head to Al-Azhar n had kway teow hong kong. hunns had roti prata plaster n tissue. i wad reli pissed at him cos he used e term ape je. sunggoh tk favourite. n also he wasnt payg attn at my stories. aiyah.. tt was always e case. brr..

he wantd to b bck by 9 cos he had to study for his ppr tmr. i fear for him. i dno y. i wantd to go home but he insisted on stayg. n so we stand at e bustop thkg whr to go. finally, playd pool. hahaks. it has been a long time tt we wanted to play pool tgthr. but der was always xcuses.

i won e 1st, 2nd n 4th game. he, e 4rd game. so it was 3-1 initially. but he beat me to 5-3. mine score remained at 3 n his from 1 to 5. hahaks. well hunns, i gav u alot of chances. tts y. blueks. stil, i dno y but i dun like hunns at pool. very stern n boring. of course u hv to play it seriously but like no joke no fun la. dno ehs. mayb he's tired. (fwahh. ainee sooo ustdg. RITE.)

we finishd e last set at 9.30 den head home. took 75, send him home. i got nthg betta to do. n guesd wat i did. hahaks. i walkd frm from BP lrt stn. it was quite near la. mayb bcos ders alot of thgs gg on in my mind. i dno. my surroundg has chgd. to no good. family, frens n even u hunns. i dno if tis is for e betta or worse. ahh.. wateva. im leavg evrythg to fate. too tired to do anythg anymo. just finish wateva i hv to do n tts it.

i hope to meet mamet evry single day. hahaks. if only i cud. i'll b e happiest gal in e world. yes, seriously. n yes. i want to meet tis pple : Rose, Lydia, Hajar, Lia, Aepul, Nazrul, Sufian, Yana, Becky. i miss u guys loadsss la! beep me pls. i love u all. n u mamet.

e one with being ustdg

2007-01-30T00:50:00.000+08:00

i hv nthg to do. so i blog.

totally pissed. was supposed to meet hunns aft his gym. i wanted e Microsoft CD-Rom. he said to meet at 5. n baba came bck early ystd. so i went to first. sat alone at void-deck. i msgd him but he din rply. i reminded him to msg bfore he go gym. so i just sat n waited. at 6, he txt me sayg, "sori2. kita aru abis gym ni. sori byk2. kita tired gler. i pass e cd to a an k."

fwahhh. frustated. i packed my stufs n head home. i din msg him. cant b bothered to say anythg anymo. i went back n slp. msg a'an abt e CD. said he'll b coming. (yea, now he's here at my hse watchg dvds.)

der was 3 discs. n im no pro in all these computer stufs. so i col him to ask. he said e 3rd need not install.

n he's not in a gd mood. some family matters. love him too much tt i put aside my anger. n im worried cos he hvnt ask me to col. sighs.

amie hunney. i will b here if u need me orites. rmbr tis. i love u. *winks*

PS: i'll adress him as hunns or mamet e nx time i blog ok.

e one with speak easy

2007-01-29T11:01:00.000+08:00

these r pictures from e Speak Easy we went to at SAM. njoys!

e one with too many

2007-01-29T09:02:00.000+08:00

woahh. been so bz w evrythg. had no time to blog. basically wateva happend in otha pple's lyf happend in mine too. hahaks. soo lazy to blog. well, thgs r stil e same in sch. but im closer w cassie, jesslyn, ambika. =)) soo nice. since dey held e Imran's event. it was nice. a big fan of his bro, sharif. well he has a cute face and a nice voice. almost all wen gaga over him. i do!

n den der was my first time to Speak Easy. tis evry mth thg at e Singapore Arts Museum. organised by Imran. it was fun. well e first part was boring cos i dun reli ustd wat dey were rapping abt. ouh yes der was me, wanee, wanie, leah, nisah, ain n mas. i njoyed myself althou it was e first time gg out w dem. we had a great luff. we cam-whored. we look like superstarrr. it was like our show. RITE! i shall not go into details abt wat happend tt nite cos it was sooo long ago. den i met amie. he waited for almost 1 hr. sori dear. well thgs hvnt been good for us either. but we stil managed n carried on. im glad ders thgs called chances.

(n while im blogging. buttcheek is gg, meooooww. he's bored. no one to play w. oma wen to e mosque. apongs n embas aslp. e rest, out.)

wat else. umm.. happy for flauntiqs tt their event is over. so in my class now, left mine, fid's dewei's grp. so we hv met our SANA speaker. i love tt evrythg is almost done. n i did played my part. rite from e start. ETP stil lags. i hv roleplay stil. hmm. so mafan. sch aside. i dun reli njoy it anymo. fish.

din attend sch on fri. wasnt feelg tt well. went to Queenstown to take MC. amie too. hahaks. n we spend e whole day out. from like 9am til 4am? nearly 24hrs. crazee. ton ltr at nite at cck. w aj n a'an cuzzie. n we played poker. n whoeva lose has to drink kumquat which was personalise by aj. he put salt in e drink. eeeeeeeeeeeewww. but it was fun seeing each reactions aft drinkg it. had a fun time. thx hor hunns. for accompanyg me thru e nite.

n so we meet agn on sat. tis time w aj, a'an n kang. tis time to Esplanade. i din njoy myself. but for a gd reason. amie was jealous cos i said tis 2 guys cute. heex. i noe u love me~. i do too. well hunns, ure e cutest of dem all ok. e berg one. hahas. even aft e botak hair. lols.

went to IMM w oma, baba n kakda ystd. yeays. baba bought me lappy. *smiles bigg* ate at BAGUS. some sort like Banquet. den head home.

i dun look fwd to sch tdy. in fact, veryy lazy. can i skip agn? haha. but must go doc. but only got evm. hmmm.. on e 31st got event presentatn. i hate presentatn. but i thk it'll b ok. k, now im gg to bath n buttcheek is finally aslp aft biting my hand. its painful but i love him. so, doesnt matter.

PS: check out www.myspace.com/beatssociety
look under their events.
FANGELS event is under it.
scoolness. whee..!

e one with the balcony

2007-01-16T14:54:00.000+08:00

i lo0k fat dun i...??!

mine n kakyan's

i lo0k fatter here!!

it was Sat n it was my first visit to The Balcony. w kakyan n frens. met her up at t0wn.. tt was arnd 10.30? it was her fren's bday. ainun n dianah. b0th turned 23 tis yr. hahaks. n kakyan t0o in 7 mths. 0ld lia0! s0 i ate baked penne. s0o n0t nice! n e plc was awes0me. i l0ike. shd hang 0ut der 0ften but its damn xpensive la e drinks. but they hv co0l m0ktails n c0cktail, magaritas. n dey hv styl0 names. cdnt recall. will go der n drink wen i hv big bux. n0t at e m0ment.

im saving. i wish t0 g0 0n a h0liday. n i hv my dues t0 pay. i wish i was stil 16 wen baba paid f0r evrythg. geez..

n yea. i dn0 wats up w me. im hvg pr0bs i gues? wat exactly i dn0. n im s0o n0t e kind t0 sit d0wn n s0lve thgs. i'll run. run as far as i can. im so selfish. so unrsnable. ya Allah. i thk 0nly f0r myself..

pls. if i hv 0ffended any0ne. im terribly s0ri. i n0e i shd speak up. instd i just kept quiet as if nthg happ. im embarresed by my mistakes. i dn0 h0w t0 face u pple.

i wanna quit. i wanna gv up. i find n0 meang in life anym0. babes g0ne. he's g0ne. eurghhh!!!!

e one with photos

2007-01-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

e cheeky cheeky lydia.

memettt!!!

e 0ne wh0 makes my heart beat faster

makes me cry n laugh at e same time.

outside zouk.

red red nails..

1st day of sch

cam-whoring..

being us.

fringe!!!

we gonna parrrrty..!

she loves me more den french fries.
buy me tis dress.

myself n kakyan.

it has been a long time. e best best best best fren.

e one with new term

2007-01-09T14:53:00.000+08:00

hello. haha. in sch rite now. its been 2 days since sch re0pen. evrythgs like n0rmal. xcept f0r sm0ne. aiyah.. dn0 la. my c0nscience is clear. i n0e i did smthg wr0ng. but f0r a reason..

anyho0s, went t0 t0wn ystd. w amie, r0s n lydia. it has been smtime since i last went out w r0s. acc0mpany her g0 sh0ppg. supp0sedly meet bdk² furama. g0 play po0l. but ders sm0ne b0th me n r0s dun like. s0o, nahh. we had fun! but i n0e i wasnt in my bestest mo0d. even amie says s0. i became r0s' fashi0n advis0r. haha. h0w co0l is tt! she needs e street-wear style. randi wants her t0 dress like tt. we went 0rchard first. c0s i wanted t0 eat pretzel n br0wnie. hee hee. munch! munch! munch!

well im s0o glad tt amie n r0s cud click. yey! at last. one of my gfs. we den head t0 bugis. tts whr she b0ught al0ttt 0f thgs. i l0ike tis red dress. aiyahh..! i want. but it c0st 59 bux! 0h. 0h. e 0ne at cine. tts 40 bux. b0th dress very very nice. i want can? wh0 wants t0 buy f0r me? i'll post pics ltr k. we head h0me arnd 10 plus? n i was in e l0west mo0d. sucky sucky attitude. we to0k 960. amie went h0me straight. i walked r0s t0 her crib den head h0me.

i felt suckier wen ive rchd h0me. mayb c0s 0ma blabbers t0o much! eeurgh.. n i t0ld amie tt i want t0 gv up. 0n evrythg. i just cdnt take it uh. w life. w my life.

n yea. fa, if ure readg tis. gd. i cant take it. i dun get it y u refuse t0 t0k t0 me. pls, d0 get angry. d0 sc0ld me 0r anythg. i'll accept all tt uh. but y t0 tis xtreme eh? y ign0re me. its n0t e same anym0. schs n0t fun anym0. i just cant g0 on w u like tis. i n0e im at fault. s0ri. s0ri. s0ri. n i'll repeat. its n0t as if i did tt 0n purp0se. i hv my reas0ns!! sighs. i dn0 h0w l0ng tis wil g0 0n. but im h0ping all these wil end so0n. pls. wat d0 u want me t0 d0 t0 make it up t0 u? tel me uh. pay back e m0ney u spent? fine, i will. 0ne thg u hv t0 n0e, i went thru hell tt day. ustd uh. wil tel u wen im, 0k w evrythg. c0s n0w, i want t0 erase wateva happ on tt wkend. u thk it thru. e rest is up t0 u. d0ne.

e one with resolutions

2007-01-01T02:18:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA n HAPPY NEW YEAR.

its 2007 n0w. al0t has happ in 2006. o0o i s0o dun want t0 rmbr. i hv new yr res0luti0ns. n i shall pray tt im able t0 d0 it. i wish t0 erase all mem0ries 0f e past. start new chapters in my life. *HELP* i wanna b a go0d daughter. a go0d sister. a go0d fren. a go0d c0usin. a go0d niece. a go0d student. a go0d w0rker. ~~a go0d gf.~~ haha. rite. i shall d0 my laundry evry wkend. hang cl0thes aft using dem. make sure my bed is clean evry m0rng. clean my ro0m. n m0re stufs like tt. i wish t0 b sm0ne str0nger. sm0ne wh0 is n0t sensitive. i can take any j0kes 0r bullies. i wish t0 excel in my studies. make my parents pr0ud. enr0l my car license. w0ahh. ders s0o many thgs i wanna d0. lets all h0pe tt i can acc0mplish dem. *prays*

stil, im tied dwn by pr0jects. hell l0ads 0f pr0jects. ETP, EVM. my oral presentatn, r0leplay. i stil hv t0 study f0r EVM. wen sch re0pens, we'll hv exam. fish! tts like only 8 m0re days t0 g0. o'0h. i dun wanna fl0p. i wanna d0 well. in all areas. *Amin* i wanna b a betta pers0n.

n i stil hv pr0bs t0 thk abt. can all these disappear. i dun want any pr0bs in my life. its n0t a nice feelg t0 get hurt. well ive been cryg f0r e past few days. n im gg t0 t0nite. l0ve cud hurt s0o much. its like piercing ur heart w arr0ws. like sm0ne grab my heart n just pull it 0ut. i dn0 h0w t0 describe e pain. its t0o painful. but i believe tt one wh0 waits will gain m0re than xpected in e end. even if i hv t0 g0 thru all these. im nv gg t0 gv up.]

hurt me m0re. mayb tt wil help me hate u. 0r even increase my l0ve f0r u each n evry day. i dn0.its all up t0 u. i reli dn0 wat else t0 b d0ne. i l0ve u b0tak.

e one with memories

2006-12-22T18:40:00.000+08:00

i cdnt slp e wh0le nite. i cried. im carryg a heavy heart. all i can d0 n0w is pray f0r dem. i heard st0ries. h0w e accident happ. i dn0 h0w ap0ng is c0ping w all these. it must b very hard 0n him..

w0ke up n read e newsppr. straits time, new ppr n berita harian. ders pics of dem. pics of e scene. i cried wen i read e rep0rt. i dn0 h0w their family is d0in. nafisah, kak nadia's sis, must b gg thru hell rite n0w. tis incident taught me al0t. ap0ng reminded me b4 he went back t0 camp t0 b careful whenever i ride e bike. w smb0dy of c0urse. pilli0n suffers m0re. ya Allah.

wen out ystd aft magrib. met fafa at bugis. i reli need t0 get 0ut 0f e hse. audi0 dr0ve us back. dr0ve pass e accident scene. saw e blue b0ard. written on it - fatal accident. l0rry n mot0rcycle.

i recalled my 15th bday. 4 yrs back. kak nadia came f0r my bday party. she did half my hair. kakyan did an0ther half. she b0ught me a pic frame. she wil always ask me t0 tell 0ma nice thgs abt her s0 0ma wud like her. she t0ld me her weddg plans w ap0ng. we did al0t 0f thgs siblings wud d0. i miss her.. its n0t gd cryg f0r th0se wh0 r g0ne but.. i just need time t0 get 0ver tis.

times like tis, ders 0nly sm0ne i can thk 0f. sm0ne wh0 wud c0mf0rt me. but he's n0t mine anym0. i cant b callg him anytime i like. but i did call him ystd n he made me feel al0t betta. alth0u he say nthg much but i n0e he cared. n tt made it special. thank you.

im thankful tt im alive til tis day t0 witness all tis. it made me realise al0t 0f thgs. it'll chg me f0r sure. i dn0 h0w t0 g0 thru evry 0tha day. i'll just hv t0 live w/0 her in my life.

i miss u kak nadia. i wil try my best t0 make 0ma like u. even aft ure g0ne. i l0ve u.

e one with kak nadia

2006-12-21T16:54:00.000+08:00

i cant believe she's g0ne. i l0ve my kak nadia.. she taught me h0w t0 make-up. wear nice cl0thes. ya Allah.. n0w she's g0ne. n0 l0nger w us. i used t0 g0 t0 her hse evrytime i cab0t sch. i rmbr all our c0nversatn. i rmbr e time we went t0 hendrix tgthr. she left. just like tt. ap0ng cried. i n0e he did. he lo0ked at their ph0t0s. me t0o. i cant st0p cryg. she's such a dear t0 me. i miss her alrd..

she was e pilli0n. n kak ct was e rider. b0th died. kak nadia 0n e sp0t. kak ct managed t0 rch e h0sp. h0w scary can tis b. kak ct just passed her license. just g0t her bike dey went just like tt. i didnt get t0 c kak nadia f0r e last time. shikin t0ld me ap0ng cried. kak ct left a s0n. Allah l0ve dem m0re. ders nthg any0ne cud d0. i'll just pray f0r dem.

ya Allah. ampuni la d0sa2 mereka. jauhkn la mereka drpd azab kubor dan api neraka.

e one with short entry

2006-12-19T13:45:00.000+08:00

i love my bl0ggie!

im meetg amie!

yeay..!!

e one with differences

2006-12-18T19:58:00.000+08:00

can die? im b0red. dead b0red. 0ma n baba g0 h0neymo0n. kakyan t0 ind0n.. m0st of my frens w0rkg. amie? umm. dno la. im stil angry at him. (yes dear, im angry at u!) n i cant g0 out c0s i pr0mised 0ma i'll take care of acheek.

went out on fri. t0 viv0 w amie n his frens. i wanted t0 watch Cinderella. a k0rean gh0st st0ry. piee said it was scary. but didnt get t0 watch it c0s e sh0w starts at 2240 n we w0nt hv bus t0 g0 h0me. i was disapp0inted. veryy.. tried n0t t0 sh0w c0s its stuupid if i were t0 get angry over tt. s0 we just slack. we to0k 963 back. t0n at bpnjg. w him n aj. dey drank bar0n. n0 beers f0r me. i watched dem g0 crazeee. it was nice. i l0ve being ar0und him. kang den came. he br0ught al0ng nasi g0reng. yummy! n yes, i buey yana. s0ri. n den lied t0 her. s0ri babe. pr0mise t0 make up f0r it.

0n sat, we went out agn. tis time w my frens. i br0ught lydia al0ng. met m0i, fafa, lala, audi0, zul at millenia walk's starbucks. we planned t0 d0 e lay0ut f0r out biz sh0p. n s0me otha stufs abt our biz plan. n s0 we discussed. i cud c amie was b0red. n i din n0e wat t0 d0. i t0k t0 him, he played w lydia. im disapp0inted actuali. i can easily clicked w his frens, t0k n all. but its n0t e same w my frens.

so0n he said he wanted t0 g0 0ff. meet aj n kang at esplanade. i din want him t0 g0. i cudnt st0p him either. seri0usly, im in n0 p0siti0n t0 d0 tt. im n0t his gf. rite? s0 i kept shut n let him g0. n s0 he g0. i pretend tt im 0k w it. he walked off aft we ate. i returned t0 starbucks. we discussed a lil bit m0re. i g0t angrier wen he called m0i t0 say he wanted t0 g0 ecp. wat cud i say? 0r d0? he wanted t0 g0. all i did was b0re him. he left me.. al0ne.

aiyah.. til tdy, we din meet. he wanted t0. i dun. im stil angry. disapp0inted. like, h0w cud he. i reli want t0 gv up. but i cant. mayb c0s i l0ve him t0o much. but im insecure. i dn0 whr i stand. i dn0 wat t0 d0, wat t0 say t0 him. c0s i dn0 if i hv e rite t0 d0 all tt. aiyah. i dn0. i dn0. i dn0.

i shall just leave evrythg t0 fate f0r n0w. let nature take its c0urse.

pssst. i heart taufik batisah! n im missing kakyan, 0ma, baba n u amie.

e one with giving up

2006-12-14T21:39:00.000+08:00

i hate t0day. hate. hate. hate t0day. we were supp0sed t0 meet. it was supp0sed t0 b a hapi day f0r me. eeeeeeeee...! dun wish t0 t0k abt it la. i dun want thgs t0 b tis way. well evrythg happs f0r a reas0n. n i tend t0 burst at evry little thg. im in my sensitive m0de. dn0 y. n wh0eva tt idi0t is, pls st0p ruining my life. im hapi..

mayb i shd just gv up. on all these. it takes two hands t0 clap. n tw0 hearts t0 fall in l0ve. im d0in all these al0ne. mayb u said "kita syg awak" out of sympathy. n its thru sms. i dn0 if its true an0t. n if its sincere. i myself dn0 wat i want in tis frenshp. my feelgs shdnt get inv0lved in e 1st plc. eurghh..! y d0 shits happ?

im tired. reli sick n tired of cryg, of gettg hurt, of evrythg.

**amie.. y u d0 tis? if i ever made a mistake, im s0ri. but u need n0t punish me tis way. dun hurt my feelgs. i dun need all tt. im just a fling? is tt it? im s0ri if wateva i did wasnt enuf. but wateva i did, i d0 it my best. i rmbr ur "dun gv up, g0 all out".

i gav my all. evrythg i p0ssibly cud hv given.

"ders m0re t0 it than u thk". i c e end n0w. ders nthg m0re t0 tis frenshp.

miss me wen im g0ne.

e one with party

2006-12-13T12:40:00.000+08:00

im happy. oh soo happy. last sat, i went to M0S w amie n gang. my c0us was der t0o. we bo0gey e nite. efa n audio supposedly join. der was tis milkshake party f0r students n NSF men. smthg like tt la.. n i was free entry f0r if u hv thier flyers. n woah e queue is l0ng. fr0m e entrance of M0S til Liang Court's 7-11. piee was der t0o. but e queue was t0o l0ng tt he gav up. me n amie n gang paid t0 g0 in. n ya, on fri nite, i bo0gey w m0i, kaknana n ijat. at z0uk. der was a pre-z0uk0ut party n als0 s0me FleshImp event.

0n m0nday, i met amie. we went t0 causeway p0int. n yeay!! he b0ught me a 3D-jigsaw Stitch n a Stitch keychain. i wanted t0 cry c0s he surprised me w e gifts. its expensive la. i appreciate but. dno eh. amie, if ure readg tis, thx hunney! we head h0me early c0s he had his prac tt nite. n Hikmah's last epis0de. i msged kakyan c0s its stil early n j0in her at l0t 1 aft tt.

ystd sat at h0me aft sch. im hapi. 0h s0 hapi. amie said he love me. =)) i d0 t0o. we t0k. abt matters of e heart. i did cry abit. but im happy. 0h s0 hapi. huahuahua. 0uh yea, naz g0t his bike ystd. KTM, orange colour. n im his 1st pilli0n. yeay~! n my 1st time on a scrambler. haha. i was s0o c0nfident tt i need n0t hug him. e pick up t0o str0ng. n0w i ustd y gals sit like tt wen dey ride scrambler. n e bike stall 1 time. s0o funny la. but i had fun..

in sch n0w. missing amie n lydia. im hapi. oh s0 hapi. haha.. meetg amie tmr.

yeay!!!

e one with taggers

2006-12-06T12:33:00.000+08:00

eurrgggh. hate stuuupid taggers. do i sound like a minah? AINAI used to b mine n his name. i hv only 2 pple in my head. aiyahh. w0nt let all these b0ther me. abt me n0w.. hv been sick for 4 days straight. high fever. it rchd 42 degrees. went t0 e family d0c, w oma n baba. i had 2 day mc f0r m0n n tues. n n0w im back in sch. s0o hapi to finally b arnd efa n m0i. luff, luff n m0re luffs..

i wanna screaaaaaaaaaaaam!

e one with e ex

2006-11-15T19:03:00.000+08:00

we went t0 mcd f0r luch ystd. hee.. w m0i, fafa, mel, nisah, fadh, hafiz n dinesh.. as always, mel kec0hs. dread e last peri0d. den head h0me. to0k cab w mel. she paid. nvm, nx time, i pay.

amie msg. ask if i wanted t0 meet him. we hv been meetg on alternate days. met him at causeway. im late as usual. he w0re shirt, jeans n sh0es. simple n nice. n his hair n0t gel up. we walked arnd. den sit at civic ctr. til arnd 2215. ouh yea, der he menti0ned al0t of thgs abt his ex. he miss all e times he spent w her. it hurts t0 hear tt la. but ders nthg i can d0. i listened at 1st. asked him t0 st0p ltr. cann0t tahan.

i sent him h0me. den he gav me a hug. i dn0 y, i went h0me cryg. i walked til bpnjg plaza. den i to0k cab h0me. went h0me n cry myself t0 slp. didnt h0g on e f0n. t0o tired.

k, enuf abt ystd. missed ETP n BCM just n0w. having my menses. tis cramps is killing me! feel like my kidney is gg t0 burst anytime. haha. s0o sickening. but i did went f0r EVM. only t0 surf e net n update bl0g. haha.

amie didnt msg e wh0le day. waitg n waitg. sighs. mayb my absence d0esnt matter t0 him. its e same w/0 me in his life. eurghhh.. *sh0uts!!!*

catchg step up w Ja ltr. yippie! 0uh yes, yes. we shall st0p sm0kg in sch f0r awhile n0w. didnt want tdys incident t0 repeat. haha. let tis b a less0n learnt. yea babes? heartt u all la!

e one with efanainee's first movie

2006-11-11T19:33:00.000+08:00

went to sch as usual tdy. watched e covenant (agn) w my babes. n their babies.. hee.. fafa n audi0 went tgthr. moi n amir t0o. i went al0ne. b0oh0o. i didnt wanna g0 at 1st. but i pr0mised. amie cdnt tag al0ng bc0s he had t0 dye his hair. stuupid rsn. i to0k cab t0 cine. m0vie started at 1745. amir was shivering. he was drenched. s0o kesian. i sat in e center. i stil did nj0y e m0vie veryy much c0s of e cute guys. *dr0ol*

amie met me ltr on. g0t s0me pr0bs at h0me. n yes agn. i hate his fashi0n sense. prefer him in polos n bermudas. s0o cute. m0i br0ught al0ng her camera. so we snap. snap. snap. hahaha.. amie didnt want t0 take. guundu. we den went our separate ways. me n amie t0 viv0 ct. m0i n amir meet lala n zul. dey gg jrg hillt0p. fafa n audi0 walked arnd t0wn.

met aj der. he br0ught al0ng his fren - nina. der was tis Esprit fashi0n sh0w. n ders l0ts of balls. like fl0ating balls. hahah. amie g0t one f0r me. s0o nice. nina played al0ne. i didnt even leave my seat. t0o lazy. ass s0o heavy. hahaha. amie j0ined her. aj was talkg t0 sm0ne on his hp.

amie g0t hungry. s0 we went t0 alif at b.bat0k. i ordered macar0ni s0up. nice! den off t0 Gui Lin. e plc is s0o scary.. diff kind of s0und we heard. tt was arnd 0300. we den went t0 c0mmunity center der. lepak der. pathetic. n0whr else t0 g0. der - our 1st kiss. l0ls. he has s0ft lips. i l0ike.

we went off arnd 0700? i f0rg0t. we to0k cab h0me. dr0p him off 1st. went h0me tired. lucky baba nv nag much. wash up n zZzZz..

0uh! 0uh! i f0rg0t. efanainee b0ught F0X sweats. we l0oikee!! f0xxy ladies. hahaha. LAME.

e one with opening up

2006-11-09T14:57:00.000+08:00

it has been alm0st a mth since i last update. t0o bz w dno wat. im hapi. s0o hapi. i l0ve my life n0w. ever since amie entered my life. g0sh. i wdnt trade tis hapines f0r anythg else. its t0o preci0us t0 l0se.

k pple, his name is syamiel. ive t0ld my dear fren abt it. im s0o stupid. t0o afraid. she's ok w it. thx babe f0r e supp0rt..

but i dun thk i ever wanna get int0 a rltnshp. its t0o risky. its nice t0 b in one. but hurts al0tt wen ure out of it. our frenshp will remain like tis. ive learnt al0tt fr0m my past xperience. n sm0ne t0ld me tt i fall in l0ve easily. issit? nn tt sm0ne actually read my bl0g! huahuahua.. nv xpect l0rr..

al0t of thgs gg thru my head n0w. pr0jects n assignments has taken over my life. h0w will i ever c0pe. but i h0pe t0 d0 my best. just h0pe evrythg g0es sm0othly tis term. i reli need t0 buck up. on evry aspect. currently w0rkg on my attendence. damn its bad. hahah. f0r sure im gg t0 receive e 2nd letter. shites.

i hv a new fren. amirul hakim is e name. g0sh. i l0ve his name!! im gg t0 name my 1st s0n tt. i like him t0o. hahah. m0i must b mad if she reads tis. m0i..! dun let g0 of tis one. seri0us. he's s0o nice! yea, we'll supp0rt u all e way. n0 m0re old st0ry. f0rget e past. start a new chapter in ur life. we'll always b here if u need us. tts a pr0mise, fren. i heartt u l0ads. just want u t0 b hapi.

i wish t0 spend my evryday w amie. but tt will only make me like him m0re. n i dun want tt t0 happ. i hv gr0wn attached t0 his smell. hahah. its nice ok! met him ystd. just sit arnd at bpnjg. met r0s aft tt. w my suga² lydia. tt blardy cute kid. n yea, i l0ve his hair n0t gel up. n his eyes. ahhh.. *melts*

lets review e m0vies ive watched w him.
.stay alive
.the c0venant
.flushed away
(mayb e c0venant agn tmr. w efa n moi. c0s dey thk i hvnt seen it yet.)

places we've been t0 tgthr
1st date - t0wn.
2nd - bugis den vivo ct. (his 1st time der w me! n aj, kang, acit)
3rd - causeway p0int.
4th - vivo ct agn.
5th - bpnjg.

n ystd, bef0re he g0es t0 slp, he msg me. dn0 y but im s0o hapi.

ainee. ainee. i cr0ss al0t of hurdles gg thru tis frenshp. 2 m0re left. my dear cuzzie. n gg int0 a rltnshp. sighs. all i want in life is hapines. i h0pe tis is it. =))

e one with one-sided

2006-10-19T19:11:00.000+08:00

didnt g0 t0 sch just n0w. cdnt if i want t0. w my puffy eyes. cried e wh0le m0rning. cdnt slp. managed t0 only arnd 0700. wen i g0t up, it was alrd 1030. sch ends at 1300 tdy. i inf0rmed efa.

it has been smtime since i last cry like crazee. its amie. its n0t his fault. he did nthg wr0ng. nthg wr0ng at all. its reli his pr0b if he wants t0 t0k abt his ex gf. he said tis -- "nk dia balek b0le?" h0w e hell m i supp0se t0 feel? he t0k abt al0tt of otha stufs abt HER.. i kept mum n said nthg.

i t0ld him i gv up on him. wish him gdluck on gettg back w his ex gf. n l0ads of otha shitty stufs. i dun want t0 get myself hurt. i heart him. al0t. but its betta t0 back off n0w. it'll hurt m0re if i carry on. he said ders nthg he can abt it if i want thgs t0 b tis way. all e m0re reas0ns y i shd gv up rite? he d0esnt care. n0t e least bit.

i h0pe t0 get over tis so0n. im carryg a veryyy heavy weight in my heart. cant bear t0 l0se sm0ne s0o speacial. i feel l0st. its reli affectg me al0t. he was online. yet he didnt even t0k t0 me. i was e one t0 nudge him 1st. is it my fault? he cdnt b b0thered. eurghh..!!!!!!!

im cleang up my hse. d0 anythg t0 keep me occupied. t0 keep me away fr0m my hp. t0 n0t msg him. i'll keep a distance. will try t0 f0rget abt him. it's g0nna b difficult. but i hv t0 d0 it. t0 n0t get myself hurt. im gg thru tis all over agn. ya Allah.

**ayy suga! let tis b e last. 0k ainee? n0 m0re l0ve matters. until u r of e rite age. finish sch, d0 ur best. make ur family pr0ud. w0rk, c0llect l0ads n l0ads of $$, den u g0 all out. on tis stuuupid shitty l0ve thg. wen ure mature, wiser. mayb u'll thk pr0perly. n0w, all u d0 is t0 study!

i need my sunshine! lit me up.

e one with e msg

2006-10-17T22:39:00.000+08:00

sch was ok. g0t sc0lded by sally ng. hahas. funny. efa n m0i was slpg. i paid attenti0n but at e same time i surf e net. she taught biz comm. we learnt h0w to write letters just n0w.

tried n0t t0 msg amie e wh0le day. just cant. msg him otw back h0me fr0m sch. he did rply. msg him agn wen its magrib. asked him t0 wake up. he rplies "ye syg. aru bgn nie. *yawns.*" just like tt. yet im s0o hapi. den i fell aslp. f0r a while. n0w he's at his fren's crib. cutting his hair. i miss him.

kakda said she b0ught ljs fish f0r me. s0o nice. ders mee s0to als0. 0uh yea. 0ma n kakyan went t0 jhr. sh0ppg agn i gues. s0o nice. i wud tag al0ng if i hv n0 sch. n dey r stil n0t back yet.

waitg f0r time f0r beckyy n jakpeng t0 rch cck. lepak f0r a while. hv sch tmr. meetg tt d0gg f0r my receipts. at last.

n f0r j0han. w0w! u managed t0 find my bl0g. n im s0ri ayy.

k, tts all f0r n0w. sch starts at no0n tmr. s0o nice. i heartt my gfs. my babes. my darlas. buttcheek. family. n amie. =))

r0s!! i miss u l0ads. n my lydia babyy.

e one with entreprenuershp

2006-10-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

cudnt slp. hate amie. he did nthg wr0ng actually. its just me. always me. u guys must b w0ndering wh0 amie is. if only i cud tell, i will. tell u h0w pr0ud i m t0 b liked by s0me0ne like him. haha. n h0w eager i m t0 return his liking. euurrgh. i feel tt he's drifting. we t0k abt matters of e heart just n0w. he refused t0 n didnt rply my msg. but of c0urse aft which he said s0ri. i just dun ustd him. i hate t0 b given false h0pes. im n0t h0ping, m i? but his w0rds, e way he treat me.. just cant resist. mayb tis is wat dey call karma. i once did tis t0 tt d0gg. but i wasnt as cruel. rite?

enuf abt him. sch was nice! i heartt my frens. i hate c0s i g0t ETP. enterprenuership shit! n0 exams but pr0jects? hell n0! mr th0ng is our m0dule lecturer f0r tt subj. meet my new teachers, my new subjs. ders PIE, EVM n othas i cant recall. n s0 we intend t0 g0 out t0 IMM f0r awhile n den head back t0 sch. yea rite! ders me, m0i, efa, wanie, wanee, nisah. haha. m0i n efa went back t0 my hse t0 watch dvds. e rest went back. i dn0 abt my otha clasmates. haha. i hvnt eat e wh0le day. smthgs tr0ubling me. i dn0 wat exactly. cant get it off my chest. lo0kg fwd t0 sch tmr! hee..

0uh ya! i alm0st f0rg0t! nisah came t0 me out of a sudden n p0p out tis qn -- "ainee, kau ada adk sedara name nasrie eh?" haha. nasrie g0t t0 n0e nisah thru his fren, ayie. i was sh0cked. reli sh0cked. suchhh a small w0rld ayy? hv t0 disturb him. haha.

"g0 all out. dun gv up."
i live by tis qu0te.

e one with geylang

2006-10-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

at last! i get t0 meet my guurls. efa was late! m0i fr0m w0rk. lala n zul frm smwhr. i wanted t0 eat ban mian. but m0st of e tables at far east were bo0ked. s0 last res0rt, mcd0nalds at lid0. didnt eat much. wasnt fastg anw. audi0 came abit ltr. den kak nana. n den we head t0 geylang.

we r stil as kec0h. i simply had a great luff. as always, we g0ssip n0n-st0p. abt e pple we n0e, n th0se we dun. to0k bus 7 t0 geylang. piee msg. said he was at t0wn n was b0red w apek n halis. s0, he j0in us. audi0 wanted t0 find kain samping. at least ders a purp0se gg t0 geylang. haha. pathetic. n yey! i get t0 eat my fried fresh prawns. yummy!

saw hadis. he lo0k different. mayb its e hair. tired, we head h0me. m0i carried on w her aunties n c0usins.

yea, t0k t0 amie earlier in e m0rning. t0ld him h0w sad i was n evrythg. he said it was over. he f0rg0t abt wateva happened. n said he'll treat me real nice. c0s im his gf. i dun ustd actually. just g0 w e fl0w. he passed his the0ry. h0pe evrythg g0es sm0oth f0r him n he'll pass so0n. insya-Allah. Amin. planned t0 meet. lepak tgthr. but due t0 s0me0ne we cant. sighs. dn0 h0w l0ng tis thg will g0 on.

can i say i heartt him? is it t0o so0n? i dn0. he's just s0o nice yet.. ya Allah. i dn0. im thankful im over tt d0gg. but i dun wanna g0 thru tis all over agn. it hurts. s0o much.

*help*

sch start in few hrs time.

e one with letting go

2006-10-14T04:03:00.000+08:00

listening t0 hurt by christina aguilera. n tanpa kekasihku by agnes monica. these 2 songs hv been playg in my head. currently, im hurt n w/o my l0ver.

l0ver? haha. wh0?

amie chg. al0t. he's stil angry w me. f0r smthg i did. it wasnt on purp0se. its just a j0ke. im twisting my w0rds, my st0ries. its in e bl0od. cant b blame. hee..

k, seri0usly.. he's different. my amie has chg. y d0 tis happen? evrytime! evry single time. its betta tis way. im n0t hurtg n0 one. n0 one but myself.

he did msg me just n0w. asked y didnt he rply me. reas0n being, he f0rg0t t0 bring his hp e wh0le day ystd. i dn0 if its true. i dun want t0 qn him. in n0 p0siti0n t0 d0 tt.

i just wish i cud read his mind. s0 i n0e wat he's thkg. of me? or sm0ne else? he's at j0h0r n0w. waitg f0r his call. or msg at least. i figure, we need t0 t0k.

meetg my fafa, m0i n lala tdy f0r buka. at last! but n0 fun ah. c0s im "dirrty". s0 e spirit of puasa abit l0w. nvm. stil i get t0 meet my ladies.

i need laughters rite n0w. tts all.

e one with vivo city

2006-10-12T21:10:00.000+08:00

finally. nthg t0 d0. went t0 vivo city just n0w. w j0han. an old chattg pal. but aft m0nths, we met c0s he's back in sp0re. aft 3 yrs in aussie, sydney. he to0k degree in rec0rding arts. co0l ehs? he drives a chevr0let. co0ler ehs? haha. he's only 20. he has gr0wn fatter i gues. c0mpared t0 e pics. went t0 penin. he wants t0 buy a guitar. didnt get any cos he one he wants wasnt sold der.

den t0 viv0 city. i was reli amazed by e plc. f**kg bigg! e biggest sh0ppg ctr in sp0re i heard. m0st of e sh0ps n0t open yet. grand opening is on 1 Dec. c0me d0wn yea. b sure t0 sp0t me der! haha. n dey hv ben & jerrys! we didnt cover e whole shoppg ctr. we did get l0st on our way t0 e carpark. haha. n yea. e sea view. shd get on e 3rd flo0r. its a chill plc. can even c e merlion from e shoppg ctr. damn co0l la e plc. i hearttt it s0o much. lucky its far. else i wud hang out der alm0st evry single day.

but e sh0ps der r m0stly f0r rich kids. t0o bad. wait til i marry dat0k K's s0n ok?

we rush h0me c0s i hv t0 b back b4 buka. emba's al0ne at h0me. we chatted in e car. cdnt rmbr which part. but i f0und out he lives in a 3 st0rey bungalow near jln bahar der. n0e e ibrahim fr0m e infotainment sh0w called Jalan? e one wh0 rides e red vespa? tts his uncle. n isadora, e DJ, his auntie. n0 w0nder e car. i s0und cheap dun i? its fun being fren w sm0ne wh0 n0es all tis pple. but tt d0esnt mean anythg bad rite?

i dn0. i miss amie. s0o much.

e one with stupid me

2006-10-09T03:49:00.000+08:00

i f0ught w amie! s0me stuupid pple. just dun ustd y. dey dn0 went t0 st0p messing w pples life. i like him. i d0. veryy much.

im l0sing him. i dun want t0. he's missing. didnt msg, didnt col. is it my fault?

im s0 naive. easily attracted. i dun wish f0r all these t0 happen. pls dun take him away. im saying tis -- i like amie. i cud even love him.

but i hv t0 thk abt otha pple. pple wh0 r veryy dear t0 me. i w0nt want t0 hurt s0me0ne's feelgs just t0 make me happy.

ya Allah. help.