e one with memories

i cdnt slp e wh0le nite. i cried. im carryg a heavy heart. all i can d0 n0w is pray f0r dem. i heard st0ries. h0w e accident happ. i dn0 h0w ap0ng is c0ping w all these. it must b very hard 0n him..

w0ke up n read e newsppr. straits time, new ppr n berita harian. ders pics of dem. pics of e scene. i cried wen i read e rep0rt. i dn0 h0w their family is d0in. nafisah, kak nadia's sis, must b gg thru hell rite n0w. tis incident taught me al0t. ap0ng reminded me b4 he went back t0 camp t0 b careful whenever i ride e bike. w smb0dy of c0urse. pilli0n suffers m0re. ya Allah.

wen out ystd aft magrib. met fafa at bugis. i reli need t0 get 0ut 0f e hse. audi0 dr0ve us back. dr0ve pass e accident scene. saw e blue b0ard. written on it - fatal accident. l0rry n mot0rcycle.

i recalled my 15th bday. 4 yrs back. kak nadia came f0r my bday party. she did half my hair. kakyan did an0ther half. she b0ught me a pic frame. she wil always ask me t0 tell 0ma nice thgs abt her s0 0ma wud like her. she t0ld me her weddg plans w ap0ng. we did al0t 0f thgs siblings wud d0. i miss her.. its n0t gd cryg f0r th0se wh0 r g0ne but.. i just need time t0 get 0ver tis.

times like tis, ders 0nly sm0ne i can thk 0f. sm0ne wh0 wud c0mf0rt me. but he's n0t mine anym0. i cant b callg him anytime i like. but i did call him ystd n he made me feel al0t betta. alth0u he say nthg much but i n0e he cared. n tt made it special. thank you.

im thankful tt im alive til tis day t0 witness all tis. it made me realise al0t 0f thgs. it'll chg me f0r sure. i dn0 h0w t0 g0 thru evry 0tha day. i'll just hv t0 live w/0 her in my life.

i miss u kak nadia. i wil try my best t0 make 0ma like u. even aft ure g0ne. i l0ve u.

e one with kak nadia

i cant believe she's g0ne. i l0ve my kak nadia.. she taught me h0w t0 make-up. wear nice cl0thes. ya Allah.. n0w she's g0ne. n0 l0nger w us. i used t0 g0 t0 her hse evrytime i cab0t sch. i rmbr all our c0nversatn. i rmbr e time we went t0 hendrix tgthr. she left. just like tt. ap0ng cried. i n0e he did. he lo0ked at their ph0t0s. me t0o. i cant st0p cryg. she's such a dear t0 me. i miss her alrd..

she was e pilli0n. n kak ct was e rider. b0th died. kak nadia 0n e sp0t. kak ct managed t0 rch e h0sp. h0w scary can tis b. kak ct just passed her license. just g0t her bike dey went just like tt. i didnt get t0 c kak nadia f0r e last time. shikin t0ld me ap0ng cried. kak ct left a s0n. Allah l0ve dem m0re. ders nthg any0ne cud d0. i'll just pray f0r dem.

ya Allah. ampuni la d0sa2 mereka. jauhkn la mereka drpd azab kubor dan api neraka.

e one with short entry

i love my bl0ggie!

im meetg amie!

yeay..!!

e one with differences

can die? im b0red. dead b0red. 0ma n baba g0 h0neymo0n. kakyan t0 ind0n.. m0st of my frens w0rkg. amie? umm. dno la. im stil angry at him. (yes dear, im angry at u!) n i cant g0 out c0s i pr0mised 0ma i'll take care of acheek.

went out on fri. t0 viv0 w amie n his frens. i wanted t0 watch Cinderella. a k0rean gh0st st0ry. piee said it was scary. but didnt get t0 watch it c0s e sh0w starts at 2240 n we w0nt hv bus t0 g0 h0me. i was disapp0inted. veryy.. tried n0t t0 sh0w c0s its stuupid if i were t0 get angry over tt. s0 we just slack. we to0k 963 back. t0n at bpnjg. w him n aj. dey drank bar0n. n0 beers f0r me. i watched dem g0 crazeee. it was nice. i l0ve being ar0und him. kang den came. he br0ught al0ng nasi g0reng. yummy! n yes, i buey yana. s0ri. n den lied t0 her. s0ri babe. pr0mise t0 make up f0r it.

0n sat, we went out agn. tis time w my frens. i br0ught lydia al0ng. met m0i, fafa, lala, audi0, zul at millenia walk's starbucks. we planned t0 d0 e lay0ut f0r out biz sh0p. n s0me otha stufs abt our biz plan. n s0 we discussed. i cud c amie was b0red. n i din n0e wat t0 d0. i t0k t0 him, he played w lydia. im disapp0inted actuali. i can easily clicked w his frens, t0k n all. but its n0t e same w my frens.

so0n he said he wanted t0 g0 0ff. meet aj n kang at esplanade. i din want him t0 g0. i cudnt st0p him either. seri0usly, im in n0 p0siti0n t0 d0 tt. im n0t his gf. rite? s0 i kept shut n let him g0. n s0 he g0. i pretend tt im 0k w it. he walked off aft we ate. i returned t0 starbucks. we discussed a lil bit m0re. i g0t angrier wen he called m0i t0 say he wanted t0 g0 ecp. wat cud i say? 0r d0? he wanted t0 g0. all i did was b0re him. he left me.. al0ne.

aiyah.. til tdy, we din meet. he wanted t0. i dun. im stil angry. disapp0inted. like, h0w cud he. i reli want t0 gv up. but i cant. mayb c0s i l0ve him t0o much. but im insecure. i dn0 whr i stand. i dn0 wat t0 d0, wat t0 say t0 him. c0s i dn0 if i hv e rite t0 d0 all tt. aiyah. i dn0. i dn0. i dn0.

i shall just leave evrythg t0 fate f0r n0w. let nature take its c0urse.

pssst. i heart taufik batisah! n im missing kakyan, 0ma, baba n u amie.

e one with giving up

i hate t0day. hate. hate. hate t0day. we were supp0sed t0 meet. it was supp0sed t0 b a hapi day f0r me. eeeeeeeee...! dun wish t0 t0k abt it la. i dun want thgs t0 b tis way. well evrythg happs f0r a reas0n. n i tend t0 burst at evry little thg. im in my sensitive m0de. dn0 y. n wh0eva tt idi0t is, pls st0p ruining my life. im hapi..

mayb i shd just gv up. on all these. it takes two hands t0 clap. n tw0 hearts t0 fall in l0ve. im d0in all these al0ne. mayb u said "kita syg awak" out of sympathy. n its thru sms. i dn0 if its true an0t. n if its sincere. i myself dn0 wat i want in tis frenshp. my feelgs shdnt get inv0lved in e 1st plc. eurghh..! y d0 shits happ?

im tired. reli sick n tired of cryg, of gettg hurt, of evrythg.

**amie.. y u d0 tis? if i ever made a mistake, im s0ri. but u need n0t punish me tis way. dun hurt my feelgs. i dun need all tt. im just a fling? is tt it? im s0ri if wateva i did wasnt enuf. but wateva i did, i d0 it my best. i rmbr ur "dun gv up, g0 all out".

i gav my all. evrythg i p0ssibly cud hv given.

"ders m0re t0 it than u thk". i c e end n0w. ders nthg m0re t0 tis frenshp.

miss me wen im g0ne.

e one with party

im happy. oh soo happy. last sat, i went to M0S w amie n gang. my c0us was der t0o. we bo0gey e nite. efa n audio supposedly join. der was tis milkshake party f0r students n NSF men. smthg like tt la.. n i was free entry f0r if u hv thier flyers. n woah e queue is l0ng. fr0m e entrance of M0S til Liang Court's 7-11. piee was der t0o. but e queue was t0o l0ng tt he gav up. me n amie n gang paid t0 g0 in. n ya, on fri nite, i bo0gey w m0i, kaknana n ijat. at z0uk. der was a pre-z0uk0ut party n als0 s0me FleshImp event.

0n m0nday, i met amie. we went t0 causeway p0int. n yeay!! he b0ught me a 3D-jigsaw Stitch n a Stitch keychain. i wanted t0 cry c0s he surprised me w e gifts. its expensive la. i appreciate but. dno eh. amie, if ure readg tis, thx hunney! we head h0me early c0s he had his prac tt nite. n Hikmah's last epis0de. i msged kakyan c0s its stil early n j0in her at l0t 1 aft tt.

ystd sat at h0me aft sch. im hapi. 0h s0 hapi. amie said he love me. =)) i d0 t0o. we t0k. abt matters of e heart. i did cry abit. but im happy. 0h s0 hapi. huahuahua. 0uh yea, naz g0t his bike ystd. KTM, orange colour. n im his 1st pilli0n. yeay~! n my 1st time on a scrambler. haha. i was s0o c0nfident tt i need n0t hug him. e pick up t0o str0ng. n0w i ustd y gals sit like tt wen dey ride scrambler. n e bike stall 1 time. s0o funny la. but i had fun..

in sch n0w. missing amie n lydia. im hapi. oh s0 hapi. haha.. meetg amie tmr.

yeay!!!

e one with taggers

eurrgggh. hate stuuupid taggers. do i sound like a minah? AINAI used to b mine n his name. i hv only 2 pple in my head. aiyahh. w0nt let all these b0ther me. abt me n0w.. hv been sick for 4 days straight. high fever. it rchd 42 degrees. went t0 e family d0c, w oma n baba. i had 2 day mc f0r m0n n tues. n n0w im back in sch. s0o hapi to finally b arnd efa n m0i. luff, luff n m0re luffs..

i wanna screaaaaaaaaaaaam!