e one w ME

so hunns xplaind tt he said thgs wrongly. not tt he love her, he just cant forget abt her. aiyah. wateva laa. it all sounds e same to me. one thg i hv to say abt most guys, i repeat, MOST guys, dey act differently twds their gf wen dey r w their guy frens. ustd? i noe u cant xpect dem to cuddly n all. nk act macho la konon. or wateva.. but, dno eh how to xplain. i dun like hunns wen he's w his frens la.

so met up hadis, zaki n aslam. w yana babe of course. waaaaahh it has been a longgggg time. we went for shesha. i heart hadis' vespa can? n zaki's cuteness. well, all were bz talkg. n zaki was e only one who can layan me. korg pnah tgk cita LOST? ahhh.. kitaorg mcm gtu jgk uh. i had a great luff. n we actually brought up all e past stories. e one w MAK-MOK. k, i was fat last time, so dey gav me tis name. i noe i stil m fat. yes, those guys were mean last time. veryyyy mean. hadis esp. abt baba coming to sch & all. alahai.. soooo gerek & kecoh!! && only now i noe e real reason y he was mean. cos once i buey-ed him. during secondary sch time. at bpp! lols. i dun rmbr at all la! most of e stories, i cdnt rmbr. but i njoyd myself. i soooo miss sec sch lyf. =)) bestest yrs.

i hope to do of these thgs more often. n i wish to chg can? in all aspect. i want to b more dependent & i want to keep thgs to myself. (of course e list goes on but rite now, i cdnt thk of any more) thgs tt made me angry, sad, happy, cry or wateva shit. all these feelgs u noe. hais.. i thk its betta tis way. ((=

e one w x-gf

so he admits he stil loves his ex. yeays! imagine wat state i m in now. imagine ok. tkpe2. satu2 tglkn aku je. da biasa.

tts all i want to blog. we'll c how thgs go la.

done.

e one w boredom

tgk si gumokkk nie. keja nya hari2 masok bilik aku, duk atas kotak, tgk burung. satu hari terjun jgk dia dari tingkap. tk takot. aku tgk, aku yg takot.

at last! prison break season 2 episode 20 is out! ive watched it. im dying of boredom. i read all 266 testimonials given to me at frensta. i got nthg to do. nthg at all. oma did askd me to cook. lazy la. hunns work. babes too. me? slack at home, eat. tts all i noe.

im bored! bored! bored! *screaaaaam* calld yana babe just now. she finished work at 5 den at 7 she got intv at SMU. mayb khairul meetg her also. i want to get out of e hse! so mayb i'll join dem. hunns wil b at town i supposed. meet him den.

glad thgs r gettg a lil' bit betta btwn me n hunns. *AMIN*

buttcheek makin lama makin boring. asek nk membontot oma saje. kakyan work. oma asek tgk cita indon tk abes2. kakna buat persiapan utk kahwin. baba gg to work soon. aku duk dpan laptop aje. begitula keadaan di rmh ini.

e one w decisions

i hate e way thgs r rite now. ive nv felt worthless n useless. pls include me in ur lyf. i just dun want to b labelled "gf". i want more. eurgh! i want to hv a say too. in evry decisions made. rite now, im just agreeing w evrythg. do u ask for my opinion? do u even care wat i feel or thk? hais.. its all abt u. i dun c two pple playg their parts in tis rltnshp. its either u or me. tts always e case. we nv work tgthr. it takes two pple to fall in love. take two to make a rltnshp work. im just repeatg i noe. im making my points clear.

i'll just run. away from evrythg. even from u. i dun c y i shd share anymo. cos it makes no difference. not a bit difference. i dno how i allow u to treat me tis way n stil i stay. its e power of love. cheesy i noe. wth. alaa.. biasa ainee dlm rltnshp slalu kena gni. perkara yg sunggoh biasa.

on e brighter side, ive watch stomp e yard. its a cool show. a totally diff kind of dance. catch it. i strongly reccommend. stil, You Got Served stil rocks!

i noe now u'll say tt ure disappointed tt im sayg all tis. tt i stil dun realise e love & care u showered me w. yes, i stil dun. i noe im expectg alot. tts me. i need ur attention. n i need to b a part of ur lyf. der, im repeatg. so pls, dig it.

e one w rltnshp

stayd at home e whole day. no one called to meet. im bored. now i wish sch had not close. (yes. luff) at least i hv smthg to do. e past few days, its either i sit at home or mrayap. n its always w hunns, yana babe & khairul. no, im not complaing. im thankful. i wanna work! evryday kind of job u noe. no more hotel banquet. tired la like tt. any reccomendatns?

life have not been fair to me. i wont say i hv probs. i brough tis to myself. to b more exact, im e prob. i deserved it la. for those who noe, u noe. sorry oma, sorry baba. wil try to behave ok. insyaAllah i wil achieve wat u guys dream of ok. i wil make u guys proud. one day, eventually.

family aside. lets tok abt hunns. our rltnshp too has not been perfect. i just feel tt we r no longer crazy abt each otha anymo. i m, totally m. we quarrel most of e time. i dun like. i noe u dun too but.. we've drifted. so far apart from each otha. yes, we do spent time w each otha. but i dno if its quality time. how do i let out all these feelgs eh? i tried talkg to him just now. he did say sorry but i dun need tt. i need chgs. yes. mmg manusia gtu. tk pnah cukop dgn apa yg ade. hais..

im sad. blardy sad. im feelg pathetic, useless n worthless. mayb hunns deserve smone betta? ive always tot abt tis. im not smart, im not family-oriented. im not PERFECT. hais.. how wud u like it if ur bf says tis abt his ex? of course minus all e NOTs la. blearghhh.

im tired. i cried thkg abt all these. im not sayg im not happy. in fact, ive nv felt happier bfore. ive nv regret knowg him. ya Allah.. y m i feelg all these? tk suka. tk suka. benci!!

e one w being fat

yeays!! exams over. evm was do-able. Alhamdulilah sponsorship came out for e essay qn. cos i reli studied tt chap like gila. i can throw my books away now. 3 wks of hols. ajer!!!

so i stayed at home e whole day. blardy lazee n slpy. all i did at home was to eat, eat n eat. oma cook sambal goreng. yummy! i ate 4 meals tdy? n den kakna cook fried maggi. kakyan did tot of orderg KFC. mayb ltr? lols.

i admit i hv been eatg alottt lately. n my stomach is growg. my sch skirt is tight. n e L size uni doesnt seemed so big anymo. im FAT. not PHAT. which is, Pretty, Hot And Tempting. k, luff pple. hunns askd me to go exercise. even yana babe said tt my perot wasnt like tis bfore. aiyohhh!

but seriously, im eatg alot. i used to not eat my food clean. but now, i do. like ystd, i ate hunns' ban mian aft eatg my sambal ikan rice. sheesh. i hv to do smthg abt tis sey. my gym regime has died. i need company i gues. who wants to join?

i shall slp soon. not slpy but nthg betta to do. =)) hunns is stress. yet he doesnt want to share. i wonder y. he nv tell me anythg. m i not an ustdg person? i confide in him. y cant he do e same. evrytime say leave him alone, he needs time. i sooo dun ustd. if it was me? surely he merajok or get angry tt i nv tel. fair? well, nthg is. now i feel worthless n useless.

enuf. i want to col n slow-rock w him. ngerrrti?

e one w BCM ppr

at cck lib now. alone. n pathetic. i want to study for EVM but i so so not in e mood. im glad im able to do BCM just now. no reports, no fax. just letter, memo n minutes of meetg. whee..! another ppr left den holidays. but wat do i do? sit at home, mrayap. tts all.

so i left home at 7.30. i find tt early. planned to meet sally n askd abt e format. i rchd sch exactly at 8.30. 1 hr journey. so i just txt her n askd. buang msg aku je. e ones i askd, wasnt tested. bleargh.

so on Sat went ECP w hunss kn? yerpp i had fun! den to yana babe crib on Sun. so i wasnt at home for 2 days. tk balek. blardy scared la. cnfrm get fuck. ouh yes, yana's cat, miscarriage. foetus was found at her kitchen. premature kitten. can c e shape of e head, tail. but i looks like shit frm far. well. it had been der for 3 days? until yana's dad do his "CSI" thgy. lols. but.. eeeewww..! partly geli, partly kesian. sheesh. lucky buttcheek male.

so i ate alottt at yana's. her dad cook ayam rendang. nice!! k so i did some of my BCM revision der. fell aslp n den head home at 1.30am! til now, oma, baba hvnt spoke to me. cnfrm kena scold. takotttt.

was talkg to naz at msn. he'll come by ltr. teman me. my dear bro. n, n, talked to aida. she said she know hunns. saw him alot of times. well. both stay at bpnjg. wat do u xpect ehs. lols. k, tts all. im at e lib, i shd b studyg. not blogging. wish me luck pple!

e one w njoyg

aaahh.. ive just finishd cleang my room. whee..~ shocked eh? lols. kakyan went to kak ros'. she nikah tdy. congrats. wil come for her sanding tmr. hunns workg. babes too. bored. dead bored. tts y e clean room. bleargh.

studied 7 units of EVM. 2 more to go. im gettg e format for BCM alrd. yeays. all prepared for ppr on mon n tues. confident tt i'll pass but to score high GPA. hmmm.. aft tt. parrrrrty all nite long. i gues i'll work. hahaks. Great Eastern Life? yeays! kakyan wants to go Genting. anyone wants to tag along? i want to spend time w hunns but he has bills to pay. financial matters, accordg to him, need to b settled.

i met hunns ystd. w yana babe n khairul. hmph. we fought bcos of e names in e hp. for those who noe me, im not e sort to check my bf's hp. i trust dem fully. we joked at first n suddenly, it became real. e jealousy, y tis, y tt. u noe those qns. wateva laaa.. i noe i only want happy moments. so i put evrythg aside.

we den head to Lau Pa Sat. eat seafood! but i din get to eat my lala. =(( cos dey dun like! so we ordered bbq sting ray, sambal kang kong n, n, n hotplate beancurd. yummy! i want coconut juice. but dey dun hv it. *disappointed* by e time we finish eatg, it was alrd 12midnite. den we walkd to Merlion. playd poker, sing. sing. n more singing. my voice now gone alrd. lols.

den yana babe recalled all those sec sch STUPID moments. we luff like org gila. n of e reasons y we fought. babe! put all these aside k. cos clearly, its stupid. we head home arnd 4.30. took cab. den i flat.

k, tdy meetg hunns agn. yeays! we gg ECP. tts e only plc, reli, whr we njoy each othas company. cos ders no one else to bother us.

gfs, u noe wen u like it if ur bf show u off to his frens, like he's proud to hv u n all. holdg hands while walkg, cuddlg in e bus/mrt, a kiss on ur forehead. its nice isnt it. like, e 2 of u cant get enuf of each otha. like u spend ur time tgthr as if it was ur last. n u smile evrytime u meet him, n u xpect e same thg frm him. like even if u dun meet for 1 day, its like a thousand yrs. i want all these. u gals feel me?

hais..

e one w johor

went jb w oma n kakyan. aft soooo long. do u noe tt e Singapore custom da up ckit? haaa.. u scan ur own passport now. coolness ekh! i was blardy jakun la. if u dun ustd, go check it out la. went der to take kakyan's baju. at larkin. ate mee hong kong der. i loikee! oma as always, she go wet market. angkot as manyy thgs as she can. i got myself a shoe. den head to ct square but der was nthg nice to buy. so wasted! ouuu.. i bought bra. hot pink.

n tdy is like my hari bodo. i left my wallet at e toilet.. i only realised it wen we want to order cakes at secret recipe. panic gila. i wanted to cry. went back to e plcs we recalled. finaaly i rmbrd. den run like crazee. feeling amazing race gtu. LOLS. gedebak, gedebuk.. i got it back. my my $ inside all gone n smthg tts sooooo precious to me. but im thankful i got my impt stufs back.

got back here, i on my hp. hunns msg twice. i din tel him i was gg cos we were on a fite. i called him wen i got home. of course he was angry. my bad. i din even say sorry. hais.. stuuuupid ainee.

but babyy. i nv nv ever toyed w ur feelgs bfore. evrsince i love u. it hurts wen u say tt. but i noe u were angry n i accept tt. im sori for all my mistakes ok. of which ive did. doing n gg to do. im sorry.

i look fwd to c u tmr. =))

e one w feelings

i feel stuupid. i dno y. i love my hunns. but i just feel tt we're driftg apart. yes u may c us happy tgthr n all. but ders like always smthg tts missing. like we r no longer madly in love w each otha. like he no longer njoys my company as much. i told him all these. n he got angry. he called me a hypocrite n said tt love sux. hais.. tk fhm kn..?

mayb its bcos he's bz workg? n tt he has no time for me. yes, he do meet me up aft work. yes, he put aside his tiredness n all. yes, he stil love me as bfore. but.. eurghh. i dno. i just feel insecure. we talked abt us being tgthr. he talked abt treatg me betta -- returning e treatment ive given him all tis while. i noe i cant xpect it to b anytime soon but.. ntahla! i dno. i dno. i dno.

but i love him laa. alottt. he makes me happy. he makes me feel complete. e way he looks at me, e way he talks, his eyes.. it captures my heart. (evryone goes awwww)

i just hope comes a day whr he realise how crazeee my love is for him. i love u abykucayangg.

e one w changes

gg thru major chgs rite now. i hope evrythg turns out well. for both me n hunns. i cant slp. too afraid. n i hv to wake up at 6am. got e Shell Livewire thg at ITE Dover. long day sey. n den meetg hunns. we'll just wait n c. *prays*

n on Fri to Thai Express agn w yana babe. ouh yes, hunns workg der now. so i went to surprise him. i ate pad thai beef n yana, fire noodles i gues. not tt nice la e food. den wait for hunns to finish work. went to bpnjg. met e rest der. ouh yes. yana babe signed up for THIS card. lols. we bought ourselves dresses. nice! pics below ok.

so i went MOS w yana babe, hunns, a'an cuzzie, aj n khairul on Sat. din njoy myself tt much. had a tiff w hunns. n yess we wore e dresses we bought at this fashion! pics w yana. wil post ltr. n i hv to blog tis. yana FELL at Main Arena!! she fell back n rolled. luff pple! luff!!

done.

wait, i love my hunns can? heex.